Utilizing Cognitive Dissonance to Enhance your Body Acceptance

I want you to go grab a piece of paper or open a document on your computer and start writing out your body image beliefs. These might include statements like:

• My body is disgusting

• My body needs to change

• My belly is too big

• My arms jiggle too much

• My hips are too wide

• My nose is too small

• My ears stick out too much

• My hair never cooperates

Really get honest with the kinds of things you think about your body.

Now, make a new list. This list is going to be things you think about your body but never get air time. This could be:

• I love my long fingers

• I like the shape of my toenails

• I like the shape of my eyebrows

• I love my hair

• I like how strong my calves look

• I like the shape of my nose

What you just wrote out are two beliefs you have that can create dissonance within yourself. This is what is called Cognitive Dissonance. When your beliefs are inconsistent with each other or your actions and you can feel incredible discomfort because of it.

So wearing something you think isn't an item of clothing your body shape "should" wear and then going out to a party and wearing it can create great unease as your belief and your action butt heads.

The cool thing about cognitive dissonance is that you can actually use it to make changes in your relationship with your body image. When you engage in actions that support you in embracing your body as it is, your brain must go to work to justify your behavior to get out of cognitive dissonance.

Right now, you may notice that to get out of this discomfort of both hating and embracing your body, the body hate thoughts may win out where you justify that you need to go back on a diet, which then confirms that your body needs to change and you're going to do something about that so you feel in alignment with yourself. Or, you may go purchase a gym membership, or throw out all your favorite foods in your home.

But, what if instead you allied with yourself. Let's say you had a really good friend that you adored inside and out. If someone started talking negatively about them, this would feel so incongruent of what you know about this friend that you would stick up for them, you would provide examples and stories showing that what this person was saying was completely false. You would leave that conversation with your beliefs intact of what you think about this friend and feeling perhaps even more gratitude for this friend being a part of your life.

You can do the same thing with your body. In 2012, “The Body Project: A Dissonance-Based Eating-Disorder Prevention Intervention,” was published offering four successful cognitive dissonance based interventions.

The first is to critique the physical and computer tactics used by media.

Criticize advertisements on how they're not portraying real and diverse body types. You can also pick out two magazine pictures with what you believe you "should" look like and pick apart that picture. Criticize it and point out its flaws.

Next, journal or talk with a friend about the cost of striving for the perceived ideal body image.

This might include things like feeling constricted in your body, not feeling connected to those around you because your body and food behaviors come first, needing to eat and move in specific ways that you don't enjoy, feeling like you have to think about food all the time when you wish to be attending to other things.

You can also write a letter to a person in their teenage years.

This could be someone you know or an imaginary teenager. Share with them your wisdom on how to disconnect from diet culture, not strive for a certain appearance, and promote their self esteem.

And last, write out comeback statements

when those around you make comments who are striving for the appearance ideal. This can look like if someone says, "Does this shirt make me look fat?” You could say: “I try not to focus on criticizing my body shape. How does that shirt feel on you?” Other statements you could prepare can be, "I would prefer we not talk about diets and I would love if we could discuss something else." "I'm working on caring less about my body's shape and do not want to engage in a conversation where we bash yours."

All of these interventions will create cognitive dissonance where you're setting boundaries around belittling bodies, pointing out that the images that you have believed you "should" look like don't even exist but are created through editing, and praising other's bodies will force your brain to experience that there is less and less justification to judge your body and more and more reason to treat yourself the same way.

It takes time and practice to interact with your body differently. The ways you relate to your body now are occurring for many many reasons that ultimately keep you feeling safe and inside your comfort zone. So no judgment is needed here. You can't just tell yourself to stop. You need to show your body a reason to try something new and that that new thing can feel safe to engage in.

Doing this in community can make this adventure easier. This is why I created the Somatic Eating™ Program to learn, grow, and connect with others on a similar healing path. We start on November 4th and will be together for 11 weeks, learning how to create a safe, secure, and satiating relationship with your food and body. There will be one live call each week to learn the tools of Somatic Eating™ and space to ask every question you could have about what's currently going on with food for you to receive support with whatever you're navigating. I will be there for you every step of the way through the holidays, a time of the year where so much can arise emotionally. If you want to chat about this program and see if it’s a good fit for you, email me at support@stephaniemara.com and we can chat further! And if you're ready to sign up today, go to somaticeating.com and you can sign up right now.