Somatic Journaling and Giving Your Body a Voice to Cultivate Safety To Be With What Is

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor. I'm looking forward to chatting with Jennifer Arnspiger today. Jennifer is the author of the memoir, dark, pretty short story collection pretty piece of flesh, and @highlysensitivehealing the Instagram community for intense and sensitive writers. She specializes in guiding deeply sensitive women to resolve old trauma stories so they can find their voice, peace and power. A somatic journaling coach and writer, she's the creator of body story, the self paced shadow journaling program that helps sensitive women liberate repressed emotions and resolve old trauma energy so they can feel peace inside and love toward their highly sensitive bodies. She dreams of living in Paris one day. Welcome, Jennifer!

Jennifer Arnspiger 01:08

Thank you! Hi.

Stephanie Mara 01:10

I'm just thrilled to connect with you today. I find that journaling is a very powerful somatic tool. And it's something that I incorporate with those I work with and in my programs. And so I'm really looking forward to hearing about your perspective on journaling in the work you do. But before we get to that, I'm wondering how did you get into this work and what brought you to where you're at today?

Jennifer Arnspiger 01:35

Oh, my goodness, I have always been a writer. I just I sort of came out of the womb wanting to write and enjoying writing. And I always just gravitated there, right. And as a highly sensitive person, and I am on the extreme side of the highly sensitive spectrum I would say, so I was kind of writing through my life and then right about midlife, there was a like just a straw that broke the camel's back in terms of I can't take another trauma, you know, and I didn't know that I was highly sensitive until same about midlife. That awakening and the sort of realization that I had grown really far away from my body and my body was just not a safe place for the way that our bodies hold the score and all the repressed energy. So my sensitivity had a lot to do with how my relationship with my body sort of it got paler and paler, more separate and more separate until I was in about midlife. And then that dark night of the soul or that final reckoning where people are like, Okay, what is going on? And what do I need to change? When that happened to me, one of the things that I sort of fell back on that was like, the truest safest feeling thing that I could do to connect with myself was writing. And one of the things that started happening was the writing, like, I could not write a poem, or a pretty paragraph or something, what had to come out of me was, it felt very tsunami like, you know, like, I just had so much that my body needed to say. It's so validating, by the way, to see you smiling and nodding on the other end, because I think it's nice to learn that a lot of people feel this way. I think, when you're in it, certainly for me, when I was in it, I thought I was the only person in the world who was struggling that hard. So that's where the somatic element of writing and journaling that I help people with now comes from, it was a very intuitive, like, if I'm going to do writing that helps me in any way feel better or more self connected, or, you know, more satiated in all the ways that that can be defined, it has to be the truth that my body holds. And in the beginning of the journey, it was like the truth, it feels like it's eating me up from the inside, if I don't get it out, right. But the more of the writing you do to get it out the like the softer then the writing can feel because you have released some stuff and you can be more self connected and kind of focused on the light. So that's the journey that I went through. And that's what I help. That's what I help women with now.

Stephanie Mara 04:00

I so understand that process. I think that when you touch upon or discover this, this highly sensitive person thing, I think I might be that. Oh, there's a real grief process that happens. Just starting to even come into acceptance of this is the body I have, and this is how it processes things. And this is just who I am. And I think that it's something that certainly happened for me and coming to terms with it and just saying like, Okay, this is just what it is. But I think there's also this sadness of I can't push myself, like too far too fast. My body just doesn't respond very well to that. Not that anyone's body could respond very well.

Jennifer Arnspiger 04:47

I know right? I know what you mean. Yeah, we can't hide it as well. Like other people can sort of absorb and absorb and absorb and they seem fine. But I love that little caveat that you made because I think when you get to a certain point or you see enough, you recognize the pattern enough, you're like, you're not any more okay than me, you're just really, really way more repressed than me at this point.

Stephanie Mara 05:09

You know, I think it's a real process to come to terms with anyone's sensitivity. You know, even if we take the definition out that some individuals are more highly sensitive than others, we all kind of fall on a spectrum. And even to come to terms with, oh, this is this is my sensitivity in kind of fall on a spectrum. And even to come to terms with, oh, this is this is my sensitivity in my body. This is how it processes things, you know, I'm wondering how your process with journaling has supported individuals in coming into more contact with that sensitivity that lies within all of us.

Jennifer Arnspiger 05:41

One of the things I was thinking as I listened to you talk about that spectrum of sensitivity is that my journaling process helps clients sort of just connect with the truth of their bodies. And when I say repressed, a lot of times, when you haven't had the opportunity to do a lot of inner work in a way that feels safe, what's repressed feels very threatening, kind of like a fire hose. But once you've found, hopefully, some safe support, and you've been able to do some inner work, you start realizing that what you're repressing is less, in my experience anyway, and the women that I work with, it's less about how sensitive you are and more about how powerful you are, and how beautiful you are. And I use that word in a very open sort of way. You know, it's the things worth celebrating about yourself and appreciating about yourself and honoring about your needs. Those are the things that tend to come forward as you journal and you sort of let your body like I really invite women to just let their bodies talk, I find it exciting as a coach because, right like you kind of know, you can say something and you know that the person on the other side is like, Oh, God, I don't know if I want to do that. But you know, like, I know that if they just will do that, if they'll just be brave and give their bodies a voice on the page. And there is something different I would say about giving it on a page. Like speaking out loud I think a lot of times we feel like we have to justify as we talk, there's an intellectualization going on there. But writing from the body, and I always encourage people to just like be as honest as you possibly can, like, nobody is going to read this. So what do you have to say, and what they find on the other side is usually like, I have this real strength about me that I'm never showing anybody or or I have this hunger in me that I'm not acknowledging or something like that. It's self connection, but the slant of the self connection is really self loving and beautiful. Which is so lovely to experience.

Stephanie Mara 07:39

Yeah, I love that description. And I find that you know, because our body doesn't know the difference between real or perceived, like, I'm going to connect this with food for a second, that when you're starting to imagine wanting to play out something differently with food, sometimes just writing it out first, this is something that I'll even suggest to those I work with, to imagine, what would that look like? What would that feel like? How would you show up differently with food? Just to even kind of play with that imagination and writing it out first. You don't have to practice it first. Because the practicing or the speaking the thing out loud, might feel way too overwhelming, that you might not be there yet. And that's okay. But even just the practice of trying it on can be really powerful.

Jennifer Arnspiger 08:28

Yeah, that's gorgeous. I totally agree. In private sessions with clients, one of the things I do is I invite the kind of writing I was just talking about, but then after it's happened, I always always ask, do you feel okay reading that out loud? And it's different. It's not like, don't tell me about it, just give it a voice. Just whatever was on the page. Just read it out loud. And that part always sounds the most intimidating when you haven't done it before. Like, oh, God, I can't be honest, because then I'm reading it out loud, right? But there is, just like you were saying, there's something about the alchemy that happens when they read it out loud. It's like it gives your internal self permission to consider it, consider it real, you know, and then our conversation often goes into Okay, well, instead of making it quote unquote, let's make a goal for you because I don't really, I don't really do that. I'm very feely, and my work is all about feeling. And it's more of a conversation, just like you were talking about where we say, well, let's just entertain the idea that you do this. What if for a week, that's all you have to do, just consider that you don't have to put up with that from that person or you get to prioritize this for yourself. And it usually, I'm curious what your experiences, but for me, it usually is between three and four days where like the suggestion to consider it or just sit with it might feel unsettling for like three or four days. But then about day four, I'll usually get some kind of message that's like, it just feels easier and oh my gosh, this intrinsic thing just happened because the subconscious takes over. You know what I mean, it does the processing it needs to do. It's beautiful. We're both smiling. It's such gorgeous work, isn't it?

Stephanie Mara 10:04

Yeah, absolutely. 100%. And I think like you were saying before of reframing the word sensitivity, oh my gosh, there's so much attached to that word that it's your power, it's your strength, it's your resiliency, it's your ability to pick up on the unknown and the unseen. That's pretty amazing. And so even to kind of think through writing, it's this powerful experience to say, Okay, this is just who I am, this is just how I feel. And I find that when, you know, I'm working with individuals around, let's say, emotional eating, or binge eating, or restriction, you know, that oftentimes those food behaviors came in because it didn't feel safe to feel how you felt, or you didn't feel like anyone was going to show up for you, or you were judged for how you're feeling. And so to come back to that, and say, Okay, I'm going to change my relationship with food. That means I have to change my relationship with my emotions and my sensations. And even if it doesn't feel safe to write out full sentences, because sometimes even that can feel overwhelming, like literally just opening a page and saying, how do I feel and just writing a list of words. and like you were saying, like, even if it feels scary to read it out loud, read it back to yourself. Like, that is just how I feel.

Jennifer Arnspiger 11:28

Yeah, I mean, this is kind of a suggestion for anyone listening, but even on your own, like, when you journal and have lists, I agree, because when the emotion connected to the thing, or driving the thing is too overwhelming to go near, just writing it out is so it like takes the pressure off, like you don't have to be emotional, just say, blank, blank, blank. It's so good, I do that too. But then like just even on your own, there is something equally liberating, you don't have to have somebody listening, this is very intuitive from me, I don't know where I get it from. It's just, it's just really strong in there. It's so impactful for clients. But just read, like read your list out loud. Let your body sort of own it as it's coming up and out. And there's something about hearing yourself say the things that is different than seeing the things on the page, which is also powerful, but it's like it's healing in layers and all of those layers matter. You know, they all make a difference. It's all about what your nervous system can handle and what feels safe to you. And you know, as another somatic coach, I'm sure that we both approach it the same. It's like if you feel ready for this, great. I you don't feel ready for this, great. It's okay. Because you'll get there. Every step gets you closer, right?

Stephanie Mara 12:42

Yeah, absolutely. I think that it's also healing our relationship with the experience of resistance in our body that, you know, so often we get these messages of you just have to push through. If we experience that resistance is body wisdom, that it's, I'm not ready to go there yet and just saying, oh, okay, well, where are you ready to go to, oh, you're ready to go right here? Cool, let's go to that place. But sometimes, we get really stuck on focusing on the thing that we're resistant to that there's actually other places in your relationship with your food or your body that you are ready to explore that you are ready to move forward with. And I think it's starting to put that trust back in the body of when you feel that like that constriction, and you know, my shoulders just went up and like, your breath gets shallow that's information from your body of hmm maybe not that, but you might continue to offer different suggestions to your body. And even I think when it comes to journaling, because I found this through my own practice of journaling, that I would feel this pressure of you have to reflect on this thing. And then I wouldn't want to journal at all.

Jennifer Arnspiger 13:54

Oh yeah. I get that so much. Yeah.

Stephanie Mara 13:58

Yeah, yeah. And so kind of reframing of like, okay, if I didn't have to journal about any particular thing, what just is coming through me right now that my body does feel ready to explore?

Jennifer Arnspiger 14:09

Yeah, that's lovely. Something that I use, in addition to what you're talking about is what if you gave that resistance a voice, like you mentioned, you can think of resistance as wisdom from your body, but it's also a part of your bodily experience this resistance and it's so easy to find. I will with clients, I'll often if we're noticing resistance, I'll often ask something like, like, where do you feel the resistance in your body and it's crazy to me how it's sometimes hard to find different emotions will be like, well, you know, it's back of my neck or chest or whatever. But everybody can tell where the resistance is like, immediately, and that to me signals some kind of like an it's not a physical presence, but it feels like a physical presence, right? That resistance, very real, very tactile. So what if we gave that a voice? What would it say? And what's cool and so interesting and healing is that what it has to say, when we give it a voice is almost never about the thing that you think it's going to be about. Right? Which is where the healing part comes in. And it reveals, it just reveals a jump, it often reveals like a root cause moment or situation or person that makes whatever the resistance is protecting, that's driving it. That's the reason it's there in the first place. So all you're really doing is writing for a couple of minutes. But there's so many levels of healing going on and connection going on. I mean, I love that we're both nodding at each other, because it's just, it's a little bit of an emotional push, right, but it's still self honoring and as gentle as it needs to be. But there is something delicious for the person doing the journaling, whether it's me or a client or whatever, when they're able to articulate something that's just been driving them to distraction on the inside. And they don't know why. You know?

Stephanie Mara 16:01

Yeah, yeah, you know, something that I connect a lot here is how our food and body patterns are often a response to our past trauma. And I know that something for you, as you have really found the process of journaling trauma healing, and I'd love for you to speak a little bit more to that.

Jennifer Arnspiger 16:19

Really, it's it's all sort of wrapped up in everything that we've been talking about so far. I think for me, and in my experience with the people that I work with, because of my personal heightened sensitivity, and I do tend, you know, we tend to draw people towards us, I think that resonate with whatever vibe we're either articulating or not articulating. So I tend to work with a lot of women who are also deeply sensitive. And I think the more sensitive you are, the more physical the presence of trauma and repressed emotions feel in your body. Do you agree with that?

Stephanie Mara 16:55

Yeah. Yeah. I mean when we are processing a trauma response, basically, any of your coping mechanisms that have come in, they may feel intense, but they are actually protecting you from the intensity of what else your body is holding on to.

Jennifer Arnspiger 17:15

Yeah, and I love your use of the word intense there. Because I use that word all the time, as I'm sure you know. And sometimes in the back of my head, I think that's really off putting, you know, you should settle down a little bit, because not everybody wants to run into the land of intense all the time. But what you're saying is so true. And that's really what I want to help people with is that feeling of you have this dam built up inside of you. And every time you don't address something, you don't release it, the more you hold, the more pressure you feel inside your body in a way that it's really hard to articulate. But we know it when we hear someone describe it. And the journaling that I in terms of trauma release, and trauma recovery, the journaling that I really advocate and my process is what if we took a stick of dynamite and blew that dam wide open and just let whatever it's holding, come out. And I like to encourage really microburst periods of writing. Like with private clients, I use two minute microburst, we never write for more than that, because that's all you really need. You just need the ::whoosh:: and then, and then everything calms down. And my favorite metaphor, and it works like this every time is it's storm energy, you have to be willing to let that storm rage in whatever, whatever it looks like, however it feels for a little period of time, and then you know, that super serene, soft, unbelievably settled feeling after a really big storm, that's the feeling that you get on the other side of that kind of writing couple minutes of honesty, like my journaling course, body story, my shadow journaling course, I call it shadow, because we're really trying to, we're just assuming that everything the dam is holding is a shadow emotion or an ugly emotion of some kind, right? And we don't walk around in the world, I think most of us, with permission to acknowledge that we're angry or rage filled or filled with disgust or shame. But all it takes is to name it once and you diffuse the energy just like the storm going through. So it's very intuitive, working with private clients. It's intuitive and based on their personal story and how they're feeling but like in terms of body story, I use my prompts to really walk people into energy. Like I don't find it helpful to just give a one line prompt and say go because we're getting we're talking about deep stuff, right? You need to be walked into these feelings a little and given permission to feel them. And the writer in me who loves to be expressive on the page has such a good time with writing prompts that are like let's get explative, honest, and ya know just really helping people find that energy so that the trauma relief, it's sort of what you release energetically from your body sort of makes room for the new realizations like, wow, that thing that I was afraid to go near was maybe really never on me, maybe that was never my fault. Or maybe I do have a right to be mad at that. And by the way, also mad at this, and this, and this. So it's easier to set boundaries, and everything just kind of opens up and gets easier from a really honest place with that kind of writing. And all it takes is that willingness to just be honest on your page for as long as you need to, because you can feel it when the storm blows out. Do you know what I mean? As a journaler, if you're willing to go there, you can actually feel it when it's over. And you have nothing left to say. And my favorite thing about that is that once you reach that place, whatever you were holding before, will never come back the same, you know, you're a different person, your awareness is heightened, you're never going to find yourself in those situations again, and you're never going to repress and self blame, like you did before. I struggle from a marketing place to really say what this is, because it's so much more than a journaling prompt, you know what I mean? So much more.

Stephanie Mara 21:15

Yeah, I really get that, you know, I find that with those that I work with around the relationship with food that once you become aware of something, first, you can't be unaware of it. And I like to kind of play with language. And so instead of saying, Oh, I'm back at square one, or I'm slipping backwards, you know, all that kind of like a little bit of diet culture language, you know, instead of that kind of saying, "oh all this feels familiar", but you are a different person experiencing that familiar experience with food or your body or your emotion. And so it's kind of becoming more of the witness to it. of, okay, I'm having something that feels familiar, but I am a person who can actually perceive that or receive that in a really different way. Because I am not the same person I was when I first experienced that food experience or that body experience that I went through.

Jennifer Arnspiger 22:14

Totally. Yeah, I agree. And in specifically somatic journaling work. That's really one of the big things that you get from reading what comes out of you out loud, it creates a sort of dissonance. So you you as present day you is able to hear what, let's say 13 year old you had to say back then, and you get that same shifted perspective, just like you were saying, so yeah, I agree. And it's profoundly powerful.

Stephanie Mara 22:40

Yeah, I'm wondering if you've ever done exercises with those that you work with, that you have someone talk to a part of themselves or talk to their body and then have their body or that part of themselves, talk back to them?

Jennifer Arnspiger 22:54

Oh, all the time. All the time. Yeah. And it's, it's the coolest experience, it's all just very liberating, and deeply like somatically self connecting. I can tell when the conversation touches on a nerve, you know, like, you can hear it in the voice, things get wavery you can just feel resistance, like a weight, you know, in the conversation. And when we reach that point, my approach is to ask, what are you noticing? Like, what are you feeling? And it could be a sensation, could even be an emotion that's just coming raging up? But what do you notice? And usually, the answer will be something like, you know, I'm terrified, for example, I mean, that's an intense example. It's not always like that, but something, you know, I'm feeling anxious. And I would say, Okay, let that anxiety be there. Let's just allow it to be there, because it's coming from somewhere. And it's okay, that you're feeling anxious. Do you notice it anywhere in particular, and there's almost always a physical correlation between the sensation or the emotion that they feel, and just the act I think of being in your body and searching, you know, like that scan of where do I feel this? Where's it strongest? Like, let's say it lands in your heart, then I might say, Okay, so just pay attention to your heart for a minute. And like, your heart is trying to say something. So let's just let it try to find its voice. And if you had to name the strongest emotion that you feel in your heart, as you're noticing how much anxiety is living in there, what would that emotion be? And then whatever the emotion is, I'll give a prompt to like, Okay, well, let's give it a voice. And that tends to tie back into someone's personal story. Like, if the emotion is sadness, do you have anything like anything coming up in you, that that sadness is about and it's almost always a yes, you know, and it'll be something like when I you know, couldn't have licorice after dinner when I wanted licorice when I was six or something like that, you know, and then my prompt will sort of invite them to respond to that moment in a way that they didn't get to respond when they were six. And that's that sort of the full circle explanation, right? Because then you can hear that when they write it. And then if they read it, then grown person is able to see how that situation impacted them. But they've also released the trauma energy around that situation. And so it's like a sweeping out of your body. The more of this that you do of all the places where you hold just repressed scary dissociative stories and emotions. It gets me all watered up when I even talk about it. It's so lovely.

Stephanie Mara 25:34

Yeah, it kind of reminds me a little bit of play therapy, where a person kind of picks out a moment in time where they felt not seen, misattuned to, wounded. And usually it's with a group of individuals, and you choose someone to be all the characters in the scene in this memory. And so and you kind of have individuals show up for you the way that you wished you were met. And they kind of, you know, have to also in their sensitive body intuit, how would I want to have met a person that was in this situation, so they also can sometimes, you know, riff and ya know go off of things that they feel like that person needed to hear. And it can feel very reparative and healing. And so I hear doing that in like a journaling way of just saying, Okay, what is this scene? You know, what is this moment in time where I felt totally hurt, and so unseen and misunderstood? And what were the characters? And what did they say? And now, if I could replay writing this all down, so if you were maybe your own playwright, and kind of saying, Okay, what would I have said to this character in this scene? You know, what, how did this person need to be met? What did their body need? You know, does it need a hug? Did it need touch, and to even kind of write that all out? I get very curious about even just in a writing format, how healing that could be to kind of play that through for yourself of like, this is what needed to happen. And if I could live from that place of this new memory that I'm creating for myself, even if it didn't actually occur, if that actually happened in my life, how would I respond differently to myself? And I'll just add in relationship with my food and body, how would I show up differently today in those things, if I always lived from that belief that I was enough or that I was understood or that I belonged here?

Jennifer Arnspiger 27:37

Hmm. Yeah. That is amazing how much play therapy mirrors what I do with my clients. I didn't realize, yeah, I agree with everything you said. With the play therapy correlation, person X needs the time that they need. Sometimes, like person X needs a lot of talking time and person y needs some, but not so much. You know, and you, you spend as much time there as you need to spend until spending time there doesn't feel in any way problematic. That's my approach and my belief, because when it stops feeling, and I say haunted all the time when you stop feeling haunted by this, because that's what it has felt like for me, but like, for example, I'm a product of a really traumatizing divorce, a significant chunk of my work was kickstarted by a really traumatizing divorce experience. So for a long time, everything I wrote was coming from that place. And at this day, I can think about pretty much any aspect of my relationship or my divorce, and it has no negative impact on me, I can have a conversation about it. It doesn't leave me feeling sad. I'm not repressing anything, because I've gotten it all out already, you know, but there was a time not that long ago, where I couldn't even I couldn't stop thinking about it, but I couldn't talk about it because it was just so triggering and driving behaviors. You know, compulsive behaviors, like eating, even though that wasn't particularly one of mine, but it's the same driver. You need the time that you need, you need the different perspectives and the voices and the body parts and the different characters having their say for as long as they need to have their say, and when it's resolved, you can feel it. Like you will feel it everybody, no matter how connected you think you are to your body or not, you'll be able to tell it because you just have more. You have more internal peace around it.

Stephanie Mara 29:30

Yeah, it's so interesting. My parents also divorced when I was 13 years old, and my inner child needed to temper tantrum for a very, very, very, very long time. And I think that there's this idea in the healing world that it's like, shouldn't I be over this already? You know, like, if you're decades after the actual event happened, and it's not about the event itself, it's how your body processed it. It's how the parts of you assimilated that experience. And it takes the time that it takes.

Jennifer Arnspiger 30:07

That's so beautiful and so true and relatable also, I mean, that's like, if anybody listening gets anything from this entire episode, what you just said would be the most valuable thing. I think, I mean, same in my way, my Instagram community, certainly in everything that I'm doing now, my business and my writing approach, and everything was really born out of my Instagram, when it started about five years ago. Now, I had no plan, you know, like, I didn't start it with intention, I had to be pushed into starting it. And then I was just sort of talking and writing and it was all it was all motivated by all the pain that I was holding and feeling related to narcissism and being in a highly sensitive body and having chronic pain because someone perpetrated trauma on you, and how unfair that is, and just the whole cycle. And I was so angry and so scared. And so honest about all of that, both in the memoir that I wrote about it, and on my Instagram account for years. And that was, I mean, it's a lot of writing, you could be buried under all the writing that I've done about it, and it's still relatively recent, that I am good with all of it, and that I have found that peace. And it's interesting, because I feel no need to go back to those dark, ugly spaces and those memories. But I also don't want to, and that is, that's a significant difference, I think. Because when we've been in trauma healing mode for such a long time, we're like, I need to do this. And then I need to address this and Oh, my God, it's never gonna end. And I see this with clients a lot, too. I think we can get stuck in like, it's, it's almost like like an automaton like, okay, that trauma is done. What's the next one, you know, and when you get to a point where you're like, you know what, I'm ready for some lightness, and to just literally be focused on something completely different. It can be very disorienting. But it's a significant step worth recognizing, because it does happen. And it's a signal to you that you have utterly and wholly resolved that and you don't have to spend any more time there.

Stephanie Mara 32:08

Yeah, I really, really understand the moment that you're talking about. How I kind of like to phrase it is at some point you have to claim your healing, you know, that it's I think we're just we get so used to there's more to heal, there's more to heal, there's so much more I could uncover and go to. And at some point, you get to say, you know what, this isn't a problem anymore. This is not an issue that I need to focus on. I think I have explored this at nauseam. And you know, like this might be complete for now. And sure, you might go back to it, if it starts to bubble up in some different way years in the future. But I think there was also a moment for me even on my food and body healing journey, where I really was like, I think this is done, like I think I'm good. I think I'm good now. It's a weird experience to be like, Oh, my gosh, I've been working at this for so long. That to claim that for yourself is a really powerful moment to say, you know what, actually, I think this is as far as the healing is gonna go. And this is enough.

Jennifer Arnspiger 33:13

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, totally agree. I like that verbiage claim your healing. And I think also the kind of healing that we're talking about where it's, it's like a full sweep, it's a weird moment to use a military term and I know that but it's like, you know, this somatic healing, and the approach that we're discussing, is kind of like making a full sweep of your body before you declare it a space, there's more than one thing happening at once, while you're doing this sweep, right, like we've been talking about how the journaling is not just journaling and all of that. So by the time you reach that moment where you're like, I am done with this, I think I don't have to spend any more time here. It's not just that you have processed trauma, it's that you have sort of been connecting to the part of you who is more grounded in yourself and trusting of yourself that you can handle that moment, because in my experience, anyway, it can be a very unsettling moment. It's not scary, it's just unsettling, right? And it's important that your healing like takes the approach that once you get to that place, you actually feel more self possessed. You feel more self trusting you feel less like you need other people to validate what you think, you know, and those especially for a sensitive person, I think because, you know, we come out of healing so different than we weren't going in but and you made mention of this earlier, but I can't remember under what context, but because we are different our relationship with the people around us is also probably going to need to change or shift. And if, if you don't have that deeper sense of self trust, even that's going to be intimidating and difficult. Right. I think it's beautiful that somatic approach because you're releasing what's ready to be let go. But you're also bringing in what's going to serve you just moving forward forever, more confidence, more, more trust, more appreciation of who you are and what you need and your right to advocate for yourself.

Stephanie Mara 35:17

Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm so agreeing with everything you're saying right now. And what it makes me think of is that moment that you're talking about, of like, it's a little unsettling, what I find is that, oftentimes, we get accustomed to living in more of a fight or flight response, like that becomes our comfort zone. But as you do this work, and kind of sort through, you know, your past experiences, and also supporting yourself in feeling safer now that there's kind of, it's very slow, it's so subtle, that you have to kind of look back and be like, Oh, wow, I'm not like that anymore. That safety, and the experience of feeling safe in your body slowly starts to become your new comfort zone. Whereas before, experiencing safety in your body was not comfortable. It was threatening. Yeah, it was scary and dangerous. And so you stayed in kind of that fight or flight or freeze response for a really, really, really good reason, because that is what felt more comfortable to stay in. But as you write and express and, you know, do this somatic work, that it's starting to show your body, and you're safe now, you're not there anymore, you're still safe now, you're not living in that situation anymore. And just slowly kind of bringing yourself into this present experience of like, oh, wow, I can build a very different life and a very different experience inside of my body now in the present day.

Jennifer Arnspiger 36:49

It's such a wonderful articulation. Yeah, yes, yes, yes to everything you said too totally. I have kind of a, I'm a little bit famous for this when I'm talking with my clients, because what you were just describing it is, it's so subtle. And you know, I'll be catching up with a client, like after a week, and they'll be, you know, giving me like the appropriate rundown of how things have been going and what, what they've done and what's going on. And I will hear so much. Look at you standing up for yourself, look at you having this feeling and trusting it, look at you doing this, that and that. But they are just recapping me on their week, and they don't hear it. And so I kind of have a reputation for being like, I understand that you are tired of hearing this from me, but look how great you're doing. Look at this win this win and this victory. And it's so fun, because they will always say, I'm so glad you brought that up. You're right, I am doing that, aren't I? And that's just another version of what you were saying. It's like, now you get to feel that in your body and celebrate it instead of just being like, well, what do I do with this weird, self loving feeling? You know what I mean? It's so great. It's so nice to be a coach that can give those moments to people don't you think? Because there's nothing like that feeling. I mean, from a coach perspective, it's great for them too obviously, but it's so unbelievably rewarding to be able to be like we're gonna take five minutes and just celebrate the ever loving stuff out of you right now. Because you deserve it. And the more we can get you used to the fact that you deserve it, the easier it's going to get for you. And it's just this beautiful snowball rolling downhill but not in a dangerous out of control way. You know what I mean?

Stephanie Mara 38:25

Yeah, yeah. I'm chuckling over here, because I do that often with those I work with as well, that, you know, pointing out where the progress is happening. And so yeah, sometimes, and this is why working with other practitioners can be a support because we get the opportunity to reflect back of look at all you're doing like you're doing so much. But there's, there's a word called negativity bias, you know, that we are automatically drawn to what is dangerous and unsafe and threatening. For good reason. Biologically, we need to be scanning our environment. Whoa, okay. Are we okay, is there a tiger behind there, you know, what's behind that bush. And so we naturally are drawn to focusing on the things that are, you know, potentially threatening to our body and our being. So it is such a practice to say, Okay, look at what I'm doing. And I acknowledge myself, even if it feels uncomfortable at first, even if you don't believe it at first. That's okay.

Jennifer Arnspiger 39:19

Oh yeah, yes. And those are necessary steps, I think.

Stephanie Mara 39:24

Yeah, well, I just feel like a little bit of a kindred spirit with you. And we have so much in common and I'm so glad that our paths have crossed and I'd love to spend some time sharing how can people keep in touch with you and your work and you know, this journaling, somatic journaling that you offer?

Jennifer Arnspiger 39:41

Well, first of all, thank you, I feel exactly the same this this was a great conversation and I feel like we could go on for a long time. I hope that we will sometime. For the people listening, you can follow me on Instagram, I'm @highlysensitivehealing. And you can join my website, I have the body story, the shadow journaling course that I was talking about. It's self paced. And it's available on my website. If you feel compelled, if you want to learn a little bit more, you can head on over there. It's Jenniferarnspiger.com. But for spelling purposes, maybe just check the show notes. It's easier. And in terms of working with me privately, my availability opens and closes, it sort of wanes, but join my email list. And you can always send me a note too if anything that you've listened to today feels particularly resonant to you. I'm completely open to that, too. So you can send me an email, you can do that from my website as well. And I would love to talk to anyone who wants to talk to me.

Stephanie Mara 40:39

Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I will make sure that all of those links and your contact are in the show notes. And just so appreciate your time and your wisdom today.

Jennifer Arnspiger 40:48

Thank you so much. I am grateful to have been invited on it's been a real pleasure.

Stephanie Mara 40:54

Yeah, well, if anyone who's listening has any questions as always, here for you every step of the way on this healing journey. So reach out anytime and I will talk to you all soon. Bye!

Keep in touch with Jennifer here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/highlysensitivehealing/

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Website: https://jenniferarnspiger.com

Body Story Journaling Course: https://jenniferarnspiger.com/bodystorycourse

Contact: hello@jenniferarnspiger.com