Building Muscle, Self Worth, and Body Confidence

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast, where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host, Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor.

Fitness culture has made body image recovery even more confusing. I've seen people year after year question if it is alright to want to lose weight, or lift weights, or increase muscle. What I like to return to is the intention behind these desires and how they feel in your body. Any intention approached from a place of self hate, of disrespecting the body, or pushing the body beyond what it can handle, compromising its health, is not a goal that will lead to nervous system regulation and bodily safety. First and foremost though, I believe in body autonomy and for you to choose for yourself what adventures you'd like to take with your body. What we typically need to explore is how to embark on those adventures that respects your body, takes care of your body, and supports your body along the way. I knew I needed to bring back on Kitty Blomfield onto the podcast to explore this more.

Kitty had spent over half her life bouncing from one quick fix diet to the next. She was exhausted, her hormones were a mess, she had digestive issues, her metabolism was wrecked and she had a terrible relationship with food. That changed when she met her partner Craig and the work of Dr. Ray Peat and Emma Sgourakis. Kitty and Craig took what they learned combined it with Craig's strength training knowledge to develop their signature method that freed Kitty from years of restrictive diets and excessive cardio while also transforming her body and health. Since then, she's helped 1000’s of others achieve the body and health they’ve always wanted using the same approach. We talk about balancing body goals and self worth, body acceptance and desires for fat loss, empowerment through strength training, navigating body image across different life stages, and approaching nutrition with curiosity and finding your Goldilocks spot with food.

There is one more month until the Befriending Your Body Image Challenges Workshop! It is happening on Wednesday, August 27th at 5:00 pm ET. At the end of this live two hour workshop, you will have a somatic plan to navigate the most difficult body image moments such as seeing yourself in pictures, interacting with the scale, and struggles with clothes. You can sign up HERE. Now, welcome Kitty! I am really excited to have you back on the podcast, and before we dive into all things body image, I would love for you just to reintroduce yourself for anyone who doesn't know you and the awesome work you're doing in the world.

Kitty Blomfield 03:16

Thanks so much for having me back on. I am Kitty Blomfield. I am the co founder of NuStrength and The Win at Life Program and Saturee with my business partner and friend Emma Sgourakis, the nutrition coach. We create basically pro metabolic skin care and supplements that support your skin from the inside out. And I was like a crazy chronic dieter for 17 years of my life. Oh god, I did some dumb shit, you know, to try and be and so obsessed with being thin. And just like being under 60 kilos. At my lowest weight, I was 54 kilos, so I'm five foot eight, so that's pretty small. And at my highest weight, I've been 75 and everything in between, I did fasting shank diets, like I did crazy shit, like 48 hour fasts, only protein for days. Took laxitives. Made myself throw up, so I've just done everything. And then in 2014 I met my husband, Craig. He's a sports nutritionist and recomp certified coach. And I also met Emma, my business partner, and she introduced me to the work of Doctor Ray Pete and this pro Metabolic Nutrition approach. And then Craig introduced me to strength training and tracking my food for body recomposition and optimizing my metabolism. And so it just literally, like transformed my body and my health. You know, I had really painful, irregular cycles. I had poor sleep, digestive issues, low energy, low sex drive. Hair was falling out, and I just would run myself into the ground with cardio and HIIT classes. I remember doing a consult with Emma, and she was just talking about all this, like beautiful, like food that I had demonized for years and years and years. And I was, I thought to myself, you know what, this is actually just like the food that my grandma used to feed me, my Nene, who died in her 90s, so like eggs and freshly squeezed juice and homemade bread and butter and gelatinous meat and custard and, you know, roast meats and just beautiful food. Pulled from her garden, oysters, like we'd, shit they had a boat, so we'd go crabbing and fishing, and they just ate the most beautiful food. And so, you know, I started reintroducing all these, these foods back into a diet, drinking orange juice. Oh, my god, I just love orange juice. I remember drinking orange juice for the first time in years, and just thinking, this is like nectar of the gods. And then I just fell in love with strength training, and I got really strong and did power lifting, and it just completely transformed my physique. I'm like 69 kilos now, and I was probably around 60, 62 kilos, so I've put on like six eight kilos, lots of muscle, you know, eat way more food. And then, yeah, Craig and I opened a gym, and we did that for three years, and we developed our methodology. And I just wanted to help other women like me break free from those diets, and women who wanted to be active and train and be strong and show them that you can have that healthy, strong body and look good and feel good at the same time. And then, yeah, we did create an online program. We helped women all over the world. Heaps of women in the States, US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and then Emma and I created Saturee. And actually, just recently, Craig's just opened the pro metabolic company. So we're creating, like, a line of sport specific supplements. So our first product was creatine, which is just doing amazingly well and getting lots of reviews. So I've done lots of crazy shit to, like, be thin.

Stephanie Mara 06:22

I'm laughing only because, like, one I so understand that I feel like my years in dieting and so heavily focused on trying to shape my body in a certain way. I mean, I talk a lot here about the nervous system, like you're in your fight or flight response, not really thinking clearly of like, am I harming myself? Is this actually good for my body? Like, just when you talk about all this stupid shit, it's just like, I nod my head and I laugh, because it's just like, amazing, also, what our bodies can go through and be resilient to last through. And I know what we wanted to talk about here today, just in this focus this month on body image was, I'm curious for yourself, as you moved further and further away from diet culture and dieting, I'm wondering how, when you started, like, lifting weights, and sometimes there can be this feeling, and I know that a lot of people that I work with feel like, very confused of if I want to change the way that my body looks, you know, is that okay? Like, especially when you're in food recovery, like, you don't want to feel like you're back on a diet, or you're gonna go back on a diet or start restricting or binging again. And so there's this, I feel like, fear of lifting weights, and wanting to, like, go to the gym or move your body in certain ways that might even want to shape it in certain ways. And I'm wondering how you kind of balance, like, I know I was saying before we started recording, making sure that it's like, yes, you can want to, like, move your body and lift heavy weights and feel strong in your body, and that your worth will never be tied to that.

Kitty Blomfield 07:54

You know, like, I still, after all the work that I've done over all of these years, and, like, I've worked with this great emotional coach, Greta, you know, there'll still be times when I occasionally think, like, I'll see some woman on Instagram who's like, leaner than me, and I think, oh, you know, oh, gee, I wish I could just be like, that lean. And then I'm like, oh, fuck no, because I just really like eating lots of carbs, and I like to be strong. I like to be able to perform in the gym, and that feeling of being strong and energized, and I totally think that it's okay to want to change your body. Like, I think you just got to align yourself with that, but do it in a healthy way and actually enjoy the process of reshaping and optimizing your body and building muscle and strength, because it's so amazing being strong. Like, I don't do heaps of cardio. I'm quite active, but I've just started Muay Thai with my friend, just one session a week, and we play pickle as well. And it is incredible how much the strength carries over into these other sports. So, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to change the shape your body. And I feel like there's, like, this Goldilocks spot, because some and again, this is just my opinion, and, you know, everyone's got one. They're like assholes, right? So it's, it's not necessarily the right thing.

Stephanie Mara 09:07

All opinions are welcomed. We get to welcome them and explore them. And, yeah, yeah.

Kitty Blomfield 09:12

It's like, I feel like I've swung both ways. You know, I've been, like, so restrictive and so obsessed with being really thin and tiny, and then I've gone the other way, where I'm just like, put on too much body fat. Well, too much more body fat, and I'm not as consistent with my nutrition, but also don't feel as good. And so, you know, there is that sweet middle spot where, you know, you can lift weights and, you know, get into good shape and get to a healthy body fat percentage, you know, like I feel like just this is just again, my personal opinion, like, maybe sub 17% I feel like women, it's probably going to affect your menstrual cycle. Again, there's always outliers to this. I don't want people to say that, like all lean women are unhealthy because they're not, because I know some lean women that have healthy cycles, but I just know from my own experience, sort of you know around that 18 to 20% for me as an athlete, lifting weights, I can still eat a decent amount of food. I'm strong in the gym. You know, I feel good. It's that Goldilocks spot, it's the middle spot. And when I'm actually eating consistently and eating lots of carbs and balancing my meals, I just feel so much better, like I just sleep well, and I'm strong in the gym, and I just enjoy lifting those weights, and I feel so powerful. So I just, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, especially when you fall in love with the process, like the thing around the tracking the food, for me, and I was chatting with some women in our program, and I feel like you know you have a responsibility to yourself if you want to lift weights, that you actually need to fuel your body properly. And especially when you know the mums in their 40s with kids, you know, they're working, and life is a lot more stressful these days than it was, you know, 100 years ago. So you know, in order to build your resilience, you have to be proactive, and you have to make sure you're eating enough and eating well balanced breakfast, eating a good, decent lunch, eating dinner. Otherwise, you are going to feel tired. Your hormones are going to be unbalanced. You're not going to be able to sleep well. So I don't view it as being restrictive. I view it as self care. And again, it's not about being like, so restrictive with it that you can never eat out or go on fucking holidays. Like it's a balance. Again, it's that Goldilocks spot like the women in our program, because I always tell them, don't worry about tracking your food on your holidays. Just go away. Follow the principles, you know, what to do, eat a big breakfast, stay active. They always come back and they're like, I actually lost weight Kitty, or it was so freeing, because I just understand food. I know that, you know, like this one lady Sue went to Italy, and she's like, I ate gelato every day, every day, and I knew that it was okay. I did what you said. I just ate three big meals, and I always wanted to have gelato, so I had gelato. We were really active. I didn't do any strength training. I got to eat bits of pasta, you know, prioritize protein. I tried everything that I wanted to, because I could understand the portion control, and I knew that it's not like I was never going to be able to eat delicious food again, because I eat delicious food every day that I actually love. So I just feel like, there's, I call it the Goldilocks spot, like that sweet spot in the middle. Again, this is just my personal opinion, but I just feel like strength training is most empowering things that you can ever do when you lift a weight that you haven't been able to lift before. It is so amazing, like, and you can't cheat this process. Like, it takes work and years to build up strength, and once you've built it up, you know, it will flow on into other sports, other areas, like just even lifting up your kids being active, you know. And so you but you need food, you have to fuel your body to get strong. Then you understand fat loss. And it doesn't have to be this crazy thing where you do stupid shit anymore. So like, when we came over, we've had a ridiculous year, like move countries twice, totally gutted our program, rebuilt it from the ground up, spent nearly a million dollars in our coaching app. Both of my siblings have been diagnosed with cancer. One's just finished chemo and recovering, but I'm really confident they'll beat it, because, like, we've done this whole, you know, protocol for them, all these supplements, like I feel so grateful for the knowledge that I have to be able to help. I know that they're going to beat it. But anyway, we went to Thailand, so I still followed all my principles. Wasn't tracking my food, but slowly, over a seven month period, few too many cocktails out in Thailand, because it's bloody cheap, few too many red duck curries, you know, just eating in this calorie surplus, slightly over a seven month period, I put on two and a half kilos, a kilos, not doesn't really matter, but I put on my favorite jean shorts in this so fucking time, like cutting my stomach off. So I was like, alright, you're through the most stressful period now, because things have calmed down and we've hired a few more people. So I was like, I'm going to do exactly what I teach them into my program. I'm going to eat in a calorie deficit. So I set my calories at 2200 I'm doing my 10,000 steps. I'm doing my strength training. Very gradually the body fat is coming off. I'm not having to do anything crazy, and I just know, in like, I don't know, 10 to 16 weeks, I'll be back at my goal, and it's not stressful. Obviously I need to be focused and I plan and prep my meals. But I'm not doing anything crazy. I'm not completely cutting out carbs. I'm not starving myself. I'm just being more specific with the food that I eat. It's actually been pretty easy, like, I'm four weeks in, you know, I've already dropped centimeters. I can still train. I can still be active, and so then you understand this as a skill. Because, you know, sometimes like that, there might be times and I just just drank too much alcohol. I just ate too many red duck curries. I just ate more calories. But you know what? I'm like, whatever, like, that's life. It's not the end of the world. I'm not stressing going, I fucking hate my body. It's fat, you know? I'm just like, look, I don't feel that comfortable right now, because I really like these jean shorts. And it's not like they're shorts that I had when I was 20. I've worn them for years and years and years, and it's just the last seven and a half months. So I think then you start to understand that it doesn't have to be this, this big thing, and you just understand, like fat loss, and you can look at it more objectively, rather than getting really stressed about it and hating your body. And I don't know if that makes sense.

Stephanie Mara 09:12

All of it totally makes sense. Something that I really appreciate that you're bringing in here right now is that one when you first started talking, you were really talking about how things feel that like you feel better in your body when you're lifting weights and when you're eating in a certain way, and when you're caring for your body in a way that your body says, hey, here's really stable energy, here's good sleep, you know, it's just you're getting all of that good feedback from your body of I like this. I'm thriving. Keep doing that. And, I agree with all of those pieces that if we take the societal pressure to look a certain way out of the equation, that we get to kind of tune more into well, how does this all feel? And everyone deserves to feel really vibrant and energetic and confident in their bodies, and I had a very similar experience with weight lifting, which is why I always love to bring someone on who focuses on weight lifting, of how empowering it felt when I first started learning weight lifting in my early 20s, and sure, I was totally under fueling my body and got myself in a horrible position with like, how much I was lifting weights while not nourishing my body enough. And so I agree with what you're saying is just like, how important it is when you want to take care of your body, is to feed your body and feed your body well. And then it's also okay to want to have a certain look to your body, but that that's gonna keep changing. You know, even what you just went through, like, even if you got to a place where, like, I feel strong and I love the way my body looks and I'm fitting into different clothes, like that, body is going to change again too. So it's really a practice of non attachment again and again. And I hear when it's just like, okay, even when my body changes, I know that it will change again and that I can just meet my body with where it's at, like that panic doesn't have to come up when it changes.

Kitty Blomfield 16:47

Yeah, even at the higher body fat level and the higher weight, I still love and appreciate my body, because I'm like, you're fucking strong, Kitty. You got these, you know, great, big, strong legs. And I still like the look of my body. I still feel good. I just feel a bit more comfortable when I'm sitting at slightly less body fat, and I can fit into my shorts, and that's just where I feel good. But I'm just going to do it in a sensible way, you know, and like all the things I teach in my program, and I still went out to eat for lunch with some friends, because you when you understand food doesn't mean you can't ever go out. Because I still think, even if you don't track your food, and I haven't, didn't track my food for seven months, you still have to make smart choices. You can't just go and eat red duck curries for every meal and drink cocktails every weekend and think you're not going to gain fat. You can still eat too much. But I think when you actually in our program, we encourage women to design their meal plans around delicious food that they love every day. Like at the moment I'm having, I fucking love sourdough. It's toasted sourdough with butter and Vegemite, and then one with jam, and I have, like, beautiful juice, oranges, orange juice, coffee with collagen and milk, eggs with palms and cheese. I'm like, every day I get up and I think, I fucking love this breakfast so much, you know, I just love it, like, just delicious food. So it's not like when I go out, I think, oh, god, I need to binge because every day I'm eating potatoes, rice, fruit, milk, you know, homemade ice cream, hot chocolate sometimes I have for dessert. It's so I sit there and I just really enjoy it, like I sip it. And I actually really love all of the food that I eat. Last weekend, I made a homemade burger. So I toasted some sourdough slice of palms and cheese melted mustard tomato sauce. Made air fried chips with ghee, and it was like, so bloody good.

Stephanie Mara 18:21

Yeah, something else that you also said earlier was just also about, and I just wanted to come back to this of noticing where you feel your best. Like, sometimes diet culture is like, I know that it's been banned now, but like, the whole skinnytok craze that happened, of like, you have to be at your thinnest, thinnest, thinnest, and that isn't the thing that feels the best to anyone. And so it's also a matter of finding, if I don't go to any extremes here, like what actually feels the best to my body, even as you're describing the beautiful foods that you're making for yourself, I also hear that coming from a place of like, you want to take care of your body well, and that food gets to be in service to, hey, this is what helps my body be at its best, and that whatever body image or expression comes out of that is okay, because I know I'm caring for my body.

Kitty Blomfield 19:17

Yeah, it's really interesting. Actually, I had a great conversation with we have, like, group coaching those every week. And some women got on yesterday. There was a quite a new lady. And then one lady, Jen Swan, who's been in our program for years, and I remember when she first, she's also worked with Greta, this emotional coach who's fucking incredible,worked with my sister, my brother. I've referred so many people to her, and she had really poor body image. And I always remember like she'd even, no matter how lean she got, she was in good shape. She'd always whinge about her body and say she didn't like it. And it was so interesting and so good. She got on this call yesterday, because she's been working with Greta now for probably over a year, and she's in really good shape, like she's strong, she's healthy. She's been doing this build and building up her muscle, and she's like, oh, probably, you know, sitting at about 22% body fat, which is really healthy, but she's, like, I'd like to sit a little bit leaner. And she divorced her bloody husband and met this new guy who lifts and, like, loves what she loves, and he wants to do a photo shoot, so she's going to do it with him. And she said, you know what, this time though, I'm not going to diet down to as lean as I did, because I just don't care anymore, because it was really hard to get that lean. And I actually just feel better around 18% I can eat more food. I still look good. I'm really strong in the gym, and I just don't have that need to get so lean anymore. And I'm really happy with where my body's at. And I was like, I said, fuck Jen. I said, do you remember what you used to be? Like, this is incredible. And then there was another lady on there, and she really struggles with body image, and she's lean, like I was looking at her photos, and we were sharing them with the group, and I said to her, you are incredibly lean. Like, I actually think you need to do some emotional coaching, like work with Greta, because, like, it doesn't matter how lean you get, you're never going to be happy. And there's something you need to dig deeper into this. There's something deep inside you. And I know, because all my self worth used to be tied to how I look like I'm not saying I'm fucking perfect now, because I still have those thoughts.

Stephanie Mara 21:05

No one is, yeah.

Kitty Blomfield 21:07

No, exactly, but I don't action them anymore, because I'm like, fucked out. I don't want to like, I just like eating food, but I still have thoughts sometimes, but I'm in such a better place now, because I do value not having night sweats, because we increased our calories, no more night sweats, like sleeping through the night. I was like, you already look fucking incredible, so trust me. And then she messaged me later, and she's bought one of Greta's courses. Like, you know, I really actually feel like I found you guys, not only to improve the hormonal shit, but just to help me work on my body image. I just know, because I've been there. Like, if you don't address this stuff, and if you don't look deep inside you at the reason why, because there will be a reason, then you're never going to be happy. It doesn't matter how fucking perfect you look, how perfect your body is. And she looks good, like she's, like, in her 60s, and in the most incredible shape. I said, every woman in our program would kill to look like you, you know. And she's like, yeah, yeah. So anyway, she's going to work with Greta, so I think, yeah. Again, there's that Goldilocks. And, like I said, I've swung both ways, too far the other way, and then too far the other way, and now I'm sort of like in this great, like, middle, middle bit. And I think too I look the best when I'm just practicing, you know, when I'm not drinking as much fucking alcohol. Not that I drink heaps of alcohol, but I just got into this habit of drinking more than I usually would, and then eating, not as optimal foods, but when I'm really cutting out the booze and just drinking occasionally and keeping it minimal, and I'm sticking to all the foods that are nourishing and fuel my body and I train and I sleep, I actually look the best, sort of funny, like, yeah, if you eat to feel good and train hard and nourish your body, your body's gonna naturally look better anyway.

Stephanie Mara 21:07

Yeah, there's something about that internal process of really wanting to, like, just respect yourself and your body. And I'm not saying that you know any even of the behaviors that you're talking about don't have to mean that that means is you're disrespecting yourself. But I hear that there's this general like, I really want to stay connected to myself, and that the behaviors that come out of that, it's kind of more that we always think that the external look is like, oh well, that's because I've been eating a certain way, or that's because I've been moving a certain way. But sometimes it comes from as you're talking about, even the mental shift that happens of I just want to care for myself, and that shining from the inside out of your relationship with yourself, because there's also not as much stress like I find that you could be doing the same exact things, but even doing it from a place of I care for myself. I want to listen to myself. I want to stay connected to myself as compared to I'm judging myself. I'm hating myself. I'm pushing myself. It feels entirely different, and even the way you express yourself in the same actions is entirely different.

Kitty Blomfield 21:07

Oh, totally. And look, this is not even related to this, but I think it's sort of connected, you know, something that I struggle with, or I just because of my personality, like I'm an A type personality, like, really push myself, really driven, you know, get shit done. I put pressure on myself.

Stephanie Mara 23:57

Same.

Kitty Blomfield 23:57

And one thing I've been working with with Greta, is letting go of control and just like trusting my intuition more and not like pushing myself so hard. And so the week before last, because we've hired this new sales team, and the people that we hired didn't really work out, so we've got two of them have left. And so I'm back on the sales calls again, and I'm like, so busy, and we've had so many new women join our program, which is amazing. So the first week, I was like, mega stressed, trying to push myself to get all this stuff done. And I'm doing this fat loss phase as well. And I just decided on the weekend, I was like, fuck it like, this is until we get that we've hired some some new great women, which was so it's worked out perfectly. It's all happened exactly how it should. But then I was like, You know what? Because I was going to launch some new ads and start working on these new funnels, but I just decided I'm like, I'm just going to put that on hold for a couple of weeks. I'm just going to do the sales calls. I'm going to help get this new sales girl trained up, and I'm just going to do the content, and that's all I'm going to focus on. And I'm not going to stress about it. I'm just energetically going to decide that it's all going to be fine, and then, like, Islept so much better this week. Everything else has been the same now, so had the same fucking amount of calls. But it's my perception of how I am perceiving the stress and what's happening. So I 100% agree with that, and it's so true. Like, you can just have this switch. That's your thoughts. It's what you think. And I noticed it all the time. Like, if I'm really practicing, like if something happens and I contract, you feel that contraction and in these thoughts, negative thoughts start, and then the emotions and it has a physical effect on your body. And just stopping myself and just tapping sometimes, or just going, this is happening for me. Whatever's happening now is happening for me. It's the next right step. And like the sales girl that we got rid of then we found this fucking awesome woman in Australia who's like, perfect in her 40s, been a strength and conditioning coach. Loves our method. So I was like, this all happened exactly how it was supposed to. You don't even need to worry about it. It's a hard practice to do, though. Like, I'm still really working at it, but it's amazing.

Stephanie Mara 25:56

Yeah, you know what I heard you saying even earlier of like, when those thoughts come up, of like, picking on your body, or you're having a difficult body image moment, I hear you just being like, no, that doesn't get any air time right now. And I feel like that's the same thing that I experienced as well. It's not like I ever don't look at the mirror and just like, have a thought of, well, it'd be nice if this changed, or would be nice if I was taller, or would be nice if this was different. But at this point, it's like it kind of is what it is, and I would never want to go back to the past patterns that felt so dysregulating and so disrespectful to my body and didn't actually care for my body and didn't actually produce the felt sense that I wanted to have in my body, even if I was thinner, or even if I, you know, had, like, you're talking about a lower body fat percentage, I actually felt awful in my body. So even when I have those moments, I kind of reflect on that past of like, yeah, I could do a lot of really harmful things to my body to get back to that place. But I would never want to put my body through that ever again, because my life was miserable and I felt horrible in my body. And I think that's something that sometimes, when those thoughts come up, that sometimes we have to remember, like, wait a second, I've been there. I did that. I know for a lot of women like you have gotten to the weight or the look that you have told yourself, and usually you're telling yourself you should look that way, because at one point in your life, you did get there. And what I find is is usually connected to, like, other things were happening. Maybe you, like, had more community at that time of your life, or you were in a really great relationship, or, you know, something else was happening where it was like, it must have been connected to the weight, rather than, wow. There was a lot of other things that were happening at that point in my life that made me feel so good, even though I also kind of felt like shit because I wasn't taking care of my body. And being like, oh, maybe I actually need to be, like, bringing in more community, or connecting with more people, or, like, doing all these other things that I connected with that time of my life. I'm wondering if you resonate with that at all.

Kitty Blomfield 28:07

Yeah, I do. And I also think, on the other hand, though, is like, you can want that body and feel good in that body, because it does feel fucking good when you do it the right way, when you do it the right way, the healthy way, the sustainable way. But yeah, I agree. Like, probably there was some other things happening, but I find with women that come into our program, I just noticed this post from a woman the other day, and she's like, I never thought, Kitty that I could be at this weight and this, like, body fat. It was healthy. She's like, 22% body fat. I've built muscle. She's like, I feel fucking amazing. I'm eating more food than I ever have. I'm lifting these amazing weights in the gym. I've got this great, strong tone body, but I haven't had to do any of the dumb shit to get there. Like, so I think it's there's both. I think you can totally have both, but you have to be willing to love the lifestyle, because it's a lifestyle, like, if you don't love living the lifestyle of, like, you know, I prep all my food. I eat really consistently, you know, obviously, now I've cut back on the booze again, again. Not that I was drinking heaps of booze, but it's like, if you don't love the lifestyle, you will just hate trying to get there, if that makes sense, because I really enjoy being consistent. I really enjoy eating my food. I love strength training. I love being active. I love feeling strong. I love that feeling of going to bed feeling nourished and full and having a good sleep. And so I think you can have both. But then again, there's a balance. Like, sometimes you I see some women I say, listen, what you want is not really realistic. It's not healthy for you to be fucking 15% body fat. Like, that's just not healthy. I really want you to question and dig a bit deeper as to why you think you need to be that lean, you know. And then some women are like, I'm so happy at 25% body fat, I've got strong my clothes fit again. I just feel good. But definitely I agree, because I've been super lean, and there's just always sort of shit going on in my life and like that didn't make me happy. It didn't make me happy. You're right, because it was something else, and I was using my body to control and to feel better. But yeah, I totally you know, feel like there's a there's a balance again, there's that Goldilocks spot, yeah, I don't know it's hard, because I know what you mean, and it's going to be different for every woman, you know.

Stephanie Mara 30:09

Yeah, well, I love that you're bringing in the piece of it's a lifestyle, and that's where I'm like, I'd like to back into it, of whatever lifestyle, where you're eating in a certain way and sleeping in a certain way and moving in a certain way that ultimately feels good to you. Sometimes it's like, okay, can we accept the body image that comes out of that? And that's going to be a different lifestyle for every single person based off of what they want for their lives, of their lives and what brings them happiness and joy and safety and security and living more in that parasympathetic nervous system that is just a different lifestyle for every person. So our bodies are going to express themselves differently based off of what is going to work for you, and that's going to change as well, because you are a changing person. So the lifestyle that you have now may work for you now, but it may not work for you in another 10, 20, 30, 40, years, like, I know you talk a lot about, like, perimenopause and menopause, and the lifestyle you maybe had for women listening to this before you got to that point, might have worked for you.

Kitty Blomfield 31:16

I actually disagree with that, because I'm like, the way that we get clients results who are 30s, the same way in their 40s and 50s. And the reason that women experience perimenopause and menopause so badly is because of how they're living leading up to that, like dieting, stress, too much alcohol, and so it's like the women in their 30s and 20s follow the same fucking process as we follow. This is, if you want to be toned and athletic and you want to be strong, you gotta lift bloody weights. And like, if you want that physique. I find the women that have the best physiques, not the best, but the most muscular, athletic physiques, if that's what they want, they love lifting weights. So a byproduct of that is they have these muscles, but if you don't enjoy lifting weights, just do fucking movement that you enjoy and eat healthy. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's still the similar principles apply, but if you don't look after yourself in your 20s and 30s, like perimenopause will be shit show for you, an absolute shit show. So it's like people say, oh, you have to do things differently in your 40s. The only reason you can get away with it in your 20s is because you're way more robust, and you haven't spent the last 10 years under stress, dieting the fuckout of yourself drinking so much alcohol like the shit that I could do in my 20s. I would go out all night, take so many drugs, have three days of no sleep, work 12 hour shifts in my 20s, and I could do that, but if you do that for years and years and years, eventually it catches up with you. Do you know? So but again, like again, I might decide which I don't think I will, because I love lifting weights that I'm I don't really want to lift as heavy weights anymore. Maybe that's not what I want to do. I might want to go and do, I don't know, rollerblading or some shit I don't know. Like, I think every woman should be lifting some sort of weights to the degree that you push it. Like, obviously not everyone's going to do it like I do it and do power lifting and get incredibly strong. But I think every woman should do some form of resistance training, because it's healthy and you need to maintain your muscle mass as you age. And then I think you should just do activity that you enjoy, like just do stuff that you enjoy and brings you happiness, and then eat traditional, good old fashioned, nutrient dense food most of the time. Don't cut out carbs. Follow a balanced approach, you know, learn how to track your food so you get some sort of you need to build that knowledge around like, well, what actually is protein? You know? What are carbs? If you don't know that and don't know how to pair things, and so many women are like, oh, my god, I didn't realize that fat has nine calories per gram, and I'm just eating so much bloody fat, no wonder I'm gaining so much weight. So it's just having that awareness and then being able to balance the meals. And a lot of our clients will eventually not track their food, because they know how to listen to their body. They know how to build a plate that's balanced without tracking every gram. But I think, like, I really and again, we may disagree on this, because you probably work with women, but if you've been tracking for years and you like, can't move away from tracking, then it's time to go, okay, how can I maybe potentially move away from tracking and learn how to eat and trust my body and trust myself? But I think you need to learn these basic fundamentals around food, and then you again, find the Goldilocks spot. Like I still prep and plan my food every week because I'm incredibly busy. I have multiple podcasts, sales calls, preparing content, running another business. If I don't have food prepped and ready, I'm not going to be nourishing my body. I can't run at the pace. I can't train, and that's really important to me. So I feel like it's a form of self care, not restriction and punishment, you know? So, yeah, I think again, it's just, you know, you might change. You might end up deciding when you're 50 that you don't want to lift as heavy weights anymore. So you might just do a bit of strength training, one to two days, and then you might do yoga, do what you enjoy.

Stephanie Mara 34:47

And you know, even just in the conversation of like tracking and trackers and things like that, I always just meet it with curiosity, like we're talking about the intention and why we're doing anything has to kind of be checked out first, especially when I'm working with people in food recovery, yes, usually my first recommendation is that we need to first stabilize your body before you start tracking anything, and we need to start to build more safety and trust within yourself and start to experience food in different ways, not from numbers or calories or macros or anything like that. And then I find that as someone feels safer in their food interactions, and feels also safer just to inhabit their body, that if they want to start playing with like, okay, I kind of want to know how much protein I'm eating, like, I hear all this talk about like protein so important for me as I age. I think that at that point, when it comes from sincere curiosity, that's a different space to approach a tracker from that it's okay. That's where I want to really decrease any sense of shame or judgment or guilt for people in all the explorations that they want to do, it's just a matter of where you're at and what's going to work for you.

Kitty Blomfield 35:54

Yeah. And then it's just like, you don't have to try and be perfect. Do you know like, like, you say, be curious. And because what I find as well, too, is when women follow what we teach them, and they eat a good, balanced breakfast, they're like, they message me, saying, oh my god, Kitty, I feel so much better. I'm waking up with energy. I'm sleeping better. I didn't realize how important it was to balance my blood sugar with protein, carbs and fat. And they're like, this is incredible. Like, it's just such a small thing. And they feel so good, and then they know, they're like, okay, if I get stuck out, how can I pick a good meal that's going to balance my blood sugar, keep me energized, so I don't skip a meal and then end up just binge eating at night because I'm so starving. So I think you're right, if you can look at it with curiosity and like it's educating you on how to actually nourish and fuel your body, rather than thinking, oh, it's all in your attitude, I think, and how you approach it, and your mindset towards it, and then just being like, I always say, just consistent imperfect action. Like, don't be so hard on yourself. The world isn't going to end if you don't get a body perfect. It's just a learning experience. You're going to refine it every week. You're going to learn what works for your body. You'll try different things, and you'll be like, oh, I really realized that when I eat this combination of food, it really works for me. I have better training sessions, or I feel fuller, you know. And you just learn so much, I think, from it, like you say, if you can look at it like that, and this long term process, rather than, oh, fuck, I've just got to lose like, five kilos in a month. Like, this is why I'm doing it.

Stephanie Mara 37:16

Yeah. And that's a great point of, like, what's the greater intention? Like, I'm just seeing so many I have grandparents and parents that are starting to get older and falling a lot, and so I look at that where I'm at now, and I just see how important continuing to keep my body strong as I age, just for even balance, you know, you hit something when you're like 70s, 80s, 90sdays and you break something and be like, if you're stuck in a bed for a period of time, that could be it. So, you know, we have to also expand it out of like. This isn't just a matter of like, what we look like, but also, what does building muscle and making sure our bones are strong do for us as we age, and it kind of disconnects of lifting weights to look a certain way, but I'm lifting weights so that I can live independently for as long as possible, or I'm lifting weights so that I can continue to travel and feel like I'm not going to trip and fall and break something really easily. You know, there's so many other reasons and benefits to what you're talking about, of like, lifting weights and feeling like you are building strength in your body. And there's also, as you were been pointing to, there's no like, look to being strong, that it's just like, yeah, okay, sure, for some examples, we can see muscle on some people, but based off of what's going to feel most grounding to you. Strong is also like an inner experience of, I know I can lift this much weight regardless of what that looks like.

Kitty Blomfield 38:49

Yeah, and so challenging too. You know, like every week it's just you versus you, not anyone else. And you get better at this skill. Like, it's a skill development thing too. So it's exciting when you get better at it. Look, even if you just fucking lift weights because you want to look better, you're still going to get all the byproduct of all those other things, and then eventually, when you get older, you'll be like, fuck. I'm so glad I've been lifting these weights. I'm so active, and I'm because my grandparents were the same. They were really frail. They didn't lift any weights. Like they were ended up being in wheelchairs. And I thought, I don't ever want to be like that. Ever. I want to be active. I want to be dead lifting when I'm 80. You know?

Stephanie Mara 39:21

Absolutely.

Kitty Blomfield 39:22

Yeah, it's just like, there's so many benefits, I think, to being strong, like looking good. You can eat more carbohydrates and improve your body's, you know, ability to utilize carbohydrates because, like, the thing for glucose, you know, when women go through perimenopause, they're all a lot of them, because they're eating these low fat diets, high stress, low muscle mass, they become insulin resistant. One of the best ways that you can do that is eat fucking carbs and build muscle like this is going to help you, you know, so that you can actually eat more carbs. And who doesn't want to eat more carbs?

Stephanie Mara 39:48

Absolutely, my life got so much better when I stopped cutting out carbs.

Kitty Blomfield 39:54

Oh, my god. Carbs are the greatest thing ever. So constantly I feel like I'm in this battle with women with carbs. I get it, because it's like, you're just so brainwashed to be like, I have to cut carbs and I have to be thin. And it's like, well, how about you eat the carbs and be strong? You just got to give it a go. You just got to trust yourself. And I think work with someone you know that knows what they're doing and follow the process, and you will see, yeah.

Stephanie Mara 40:16

Yeah. So for anyone listening like, I always like to offer people a baby step. As we wrap up, of like, you've guided so many women in starting a weight lifting journey. And for anyone who's listening, who's maybe, like, not, kind of maybe interacted with weights a lot of the time, or they're just starting their weight lifting journey. What maybe guidance would you offer someone around like, how to start lifting weights. Or, you know, even, what is a weight lifting journey? Like, you've been talking so much about how this is an ongoing journey, and I totally get that, and it evolves and it changes. But if you could kind of also expand on of like, what does that even mean of like, the long term relationship with weights as well.

Kitty Blomfield 40:58

Well, you need to get help to start. Like, obviously, because it's like, if you don't know anything about lifting, you're probably not going to get great results just googling things off YouTube. I mean, I've got a free group which has a three day Full Body program that basically you can just do for free, which is in our free group. And then we also have a challenge where we teach you how to lift. So I think if you just wanted to do something for free, you could just join our free rebuild your metabolism community, and then just do the three day strength training program, and it's just a great way, really, to get started, because I think you do need some guidance when you're first starting.

Stephanie Mara 41:34

I agree with you that ultimately, I wish that I had more one on one support. I took a weight lifting class, and I've told this story many times before here, in college, and like, literally, it was a, you know, just this older man who walked us around the gym, briefly showed us how to use everything, and then you had to create a workout plan for the semester. That was it. You basically went into the gym whenever you wanted, and, like, just checked off that you were there and you did the workout that you said you were gonna do. So my first attempt at weight lifting, or introduction to weights, was a lot of me figuring things out myself, and I made a lot of mistakes. And so I think it's so great that you're pointing to working with someone, and there's so many amazing like you have online programs now that doesn't always have to be in person, especially if you're feeling a little bit self conscious right now, to going into a gym, even just bringing weights into your home and going through a virtual program can be a great baby step and a place to start.

Kitty Blomfield 42:40

Yeah, 100% because I think, like, I mean, I've always invested in coaching, like, you need lifting coaching, I think, to learn, and it'll be one of the best things you'll ever invest in. And we teach all of our clients how to lift online, you know, and they get incredibly strong women who've never lifted weights in their life. You know, our app has video instructions. We get you to record yourself lifting. We give you feedback. But again, like I said, there's a free program in our group three days full body has exercise videos in there that you can watch. It'll guide you through everything. So that could just be really great place to start if you just wanted to sort of dip your toes in the water and it's free.

Stephanie Mara 43:12

Yeah, that's awesome. No, I love that suggestion, and I feel like the theme along the way has also just been play and exploration, just like play with your food. Get into the gym, you know, lift heavy things. See what it feels like. See what it feels like to eat differently. See what it feels like to be in different body shapes and sizes, rather than it's I should look this way, or I should be this weight, or I should have this body fat percentage, or whatever it is, it's like, how does it also feel? So I love all the nuance that you brought in today that like it is a journey, and it's not so simple, and some days are going to be hard, and you just get to keep moving forward. So how can individuals keep in touch with you and all the wonderful work that you're doing?

Kitty Blomfield 44:00

So I'd probably suggest following me on Instagram. So it's k, i, t, t, y, b, l, o, m, f, i, l, d. You can join our free group. There's heaps of free resources. We have a challenge. If you just want to dip your toes in the water, then you can work with us one on one in our group coaching. So there's lots of different ways, and we have a podcast, but I would just suggest starting with Instagram.

Stephanie Mara 44:18

Well, thank you so much for being here and having this conversation. You know, I just love connecting with you, and I know how passionate you are about this work and supporting women in feeling really strong in their bodies, and also just feeling like they can go out into the world and feel confident in the skin that they're in. So just thank you for the work that you're doing and everything that you shared today.

Kitty Blomfield 44:37

Oh, you're welcome. Thank you so much for having me on.

Stephanie Mara 44:39

Yeah, absolutely. Well, to everyone listening as always, if you have any questions, email me anytime at support@stephaniemara.com and I hope you all have a satiating and safety producing rest of the day. Bye!

Keep in touch with Kitty here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kittyblomfield/

Website: https://www.nustrength.com.au/