Hurt People, Hurt People

My cute puppy is teething and his teeth are sharp. My hands ache from his sharp bites and how much he loves to gnaw on my fingers. At this time, I have a lot of compassion for him. He is in pain and if we have no other way of communicating or expressing that pain, we can take our pain out on other people. There is a quote by Miller Williams, “Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don't want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.”

One of the big reasons why we can overeat is an outlet for the trauma or pain we are experiencing but do not know how to process. Yes hurt people can hurt other people, but also when we are hurt we can hurt ourselves. Overeating, binging, restricting, over focus on food and weight, are all ways for us to stuff down, numb out, cope, and navigate the intense emotions our body is holding on to from the wounds of our past. We may not have control over what happens to us, but food and what we put into our body or not is a way for many to feel a sense of control in an uncontrollable world.

All the compassion you may find yourself giving to others, please also give to yourself. You deserve the presence, kindness, compassion, gentleness, support that you offer to everyone else. When we offer ourselves empathy and understanding, food becomes less desirable to reach for as we are filling ourselves up emotionally from our own compassionate presence. How you offer yourself support can be unique to you. This may be taking yourself to the gym, getting a massage, journaling, indulging in some free time and doing whatever nourishes your soul. Find ways to love yourself up each day so that on those days that those hurts and triggers and wounds are present, you have embodied memory of how to love yourself when it feels harder to do.