What is Somatic Healing? How Do you Make your Body a Safe Place to Inhabit?

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor. I'm super excited to introduce you all today to Stephanie Scarminach. Stephanie is a body focused mental health practitioner who has her MA in clinical and mental health, somatic psychology, and blends this with her own intuition to help guide clients towards themselves and healing. Through her own journey of healing past trauma, she has found deep purpose in sharing this practice. She believes our bodies hold deep, innate wisdom, and are always trying to guide us home to ourselves. Her goal is to walk alongside her clients, helping them discover their own body's natural wisdom. Welcome, Stephanie.

Stephanie Scarminach 00:58

Mmmmmm, I'm so glad to be here with you today, Steph, it is so fun to get to connect with somebody else who also is somatically oriented. Always such a pleasure.

Stephanie Mara 01:08

Yeah, I completely agree with that. And you know, first off, I love to get started of how did you get into this work? Because I remember, you know, I got my master's in somatic psychotherapy, like over a decade ago, and everyone in my family was like, what is this somatic thing that you're doing? Is that even like a real thing, and now somatics has just kind of blown up a little bit in its popularity, and it's becoming more well known. So I'd love to hear how you learned about it and got into it?

Stephanie Scarminach 01:39

Absolutely. It is so funny to see it expanding. Because you know, you and I swim in this community in this water is so commonplace that sometimes I do forget that this is new information for so many people, right? So I had been in and out of different therapists, counselors, coaches for really, you know, a long time, by the time that I found somebody who was somatically oriented. And when I originally started working with a somatic facilitator, one of the first big aha moments was her describing the experience of being dissociated. And how even if I could describe the traumas, the problems, the unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviors, that wasn't really changing how I felt inside of my body when they happened, because I just wasn't in my body long enough to be able to change the experience of them as they happened. And that was really the turning point for me, in my mental health, but also in my understanding of how we as humans work. There is, you know, the classical Freudian approach of the, you know, the ego and the mindset. And while there is a time in place for that cognitive understanding, something that I like to say is that we call them feelings, because we feel them, they're not thinkings, and so we need to learn how to be in the feeling in order to make the changes so that we can feel differently, so we can expand our range.

Stephanie Mara 03:15

Yeah, I love that shift. And, you know, it's kind of like so many individuals come even into sessions that I work with, and dropping into their body at first, they're very confused when it's just like, well, you know, what might you notice? And it's like, nothing. What am I supposed to notice? And so I'm curious, what have you found as individuals come to you, not knowing what somatics is at all, how do you guide them slowly into this work and kind of describe what embodiment even is when we really live in a world that kind of asks for us to disembody.

Stephanie Scarminach 03:54

Absolutely, you know, I really appreciate the recognition that this is a dynamic issue. This is not just us existing in a vacuum. You know, we exist within a family system that exists within a culture that exists, you know, within a entire group and community of humans that all operate in a particular system. And so the way that I help folks titrate into this work, right, and titrate, meaning we put one foot in and one foot out is by first starting with the concept that you are already existing somatically whether you're using that language or not. So when you have a gut feeling about something or you get butterflies, before you know an activity and experience or seeing somebody, you are having a feeling inside of your body that tells you, hey, this is the emotion that I'm experiencing. There's not real butterflies in our belly. There's not really a pit in our stomach, but it sure feels like that. And the tangibility of that sensory experience, we can really tie to your capacity to sense internally what is going on, and not just I can feel my tummy grumbling, or, gosh, my heart is beating quickly, those sensations are also a part of the conversation. But what we're really looking for is your interoceptive muscle. And I always describe interoception as similar to proprioception and proprioception being I moved my arm, if I can't see it, I can still feel I can sense that it's moving. I don't need my sight to confirm that. It's the same thing internally. So inter reception. So internally, I don't need to see those butterflies to go, oh, there's, there's something happening there. And this is really the way that we are naturally and organically made. As beings, we have this capacity to sense into ourselves. And this is meant to be our guiding light. This is meant to be our true north, because we like all other organisms and animals are always attempting to return to homeostasis. And so these sensations that you're having, are trying to tell you something, this is a language of a conversation. And so when I'm introducing folks to somatics, for their first time, and we're just using the language, you know, for the first time, I really set the stage in this way where this is accessible. This is something you're already doing, we just happen to be calling it something in particular, now we're using specific lingo and that as we can expand that language, we give you the opportunity to actually answer the phone when your body calls, which is pretty neat.

Stephanie Mara 06:33

Yeah, yeah, I love that you brought into this concept of interoception. Because I find those that I work with around their relationship with food, that interoception awareness really got broken. And I'm curious in your work, what you have found has broken that ability to attune internally and know what it is you're feeling because that actually can get kind of halted at a very young age.

Stephanie Scarminach 06:57

Absolutely, absolutely. And I think it really all comes back down to a child's experience as a child in a human body is new, everything is new. Understanding what hunger is, is new, understanding cold and sad and excited and hot, like all of the sensory experiences of being a human are new. And so as children, we are needing consistent and repetitive confirmation, that what we're feeling is called this thing and what you're feeling is real. And I think where that connection really gets broken early on, is when we are told, that's not what you're feeling. I don't believe you, that's not what's happening. And our internal sensations are overwrote overwritten by either our caregivers, the you know, family of origin, the adults in our surroundings in favor of what they are experiencing what they'd like the narrative to be, or their own traumatic suppression of what is actually going on. And so we learn to either cross the wires in our nervous system, we say, okay, when I feel uncomfortable, that must mean, I'm safe. When I feel hungry, that must mean I don't want to eat. And we start to see these intersections of there's almost like the image of an old telephone switchboard with all of these outlets and all of these different wires. It's not that you don't have the wires or the outlets, but rather that they got plugged in, in a in a different arrangement. And we can absolutely go back and you know, pull those out and replug them in. It's our incredible capacity as humans with an elastic brain to rewire and repattern ourselves. But in order to repattern we really have to understand where that wire is connected in the first place. I think that is often, you know, the challenge for folks coming into this work is I don't want my wires to be crossed. I'd like to uncross them, but we don't want to go through the pain and the grief required with actually looking at that switchboard and really, you know, looking at it in the light of day to say, Oh, wow, oh, wow. Okay, some things need to be rearranged here.

Stephanie Mara 09:08

Oh, my gosh, I love that imagery so much. I'm a big fan of imagery. And I think that kind of describes it so well. And also that the first step isn't like, Okay, I've pinpointed something feels a little off. Now I'm going to take action to change it. It's looking at the switchboard and saying like, wow, like, this is me. And like I beautifully put this together for a reason to try to protect myself. And it's not working for me anymore.

Stephanie Scarminach 09:37

Yes, yes. I think that is the piece that I really, I feel like gets skipped over so frequently, because we're in the struggle. We're in the pain of how our systems are no longer working for us. But that I love taking a moment to really honor the complexity, the creativity, like wow, you figured out all by yourself how to do this. This, she's actually brilliant like my god, like you figured out how to do this like all on your own, with no one explaining it, no one walking you through it. And I think I really had the chance to appreciate that creativity when I was working with teenagers for a long time, and how so often lashing out or lying or substance abuse or you know, compulsive behavior gets labeled as wrong or bad. And then in our adult years, we get, you know, written off, as you know, we were troubled children. And so now I can never get it together. And I will always be this being this person. But really, like, you were so creative in trying to get attention brought to this pain, you're trying to figure out how to manage these cross wires, you were trying to untangle it, but just didn't have any guidance. And so Wow, look at the masterpiece that you created with the little guidance that you did have.

Stephanie Mara 10:57

Yeah, I really appreciate you bringing that in. Because I agree, I think it's often missed to appreciate yourself for your coping mechanisms. Because oftentimes, we see our coping mechanisms as the problem that needs to be fixed, they need to be gotten rid of, and it's actually the coping mechanisms, we can see it more as the doorway into yourself of like, why did you create that in the first place? Because you created it for a really wise reason.

Stephanie Scarminach 11:25

Yeah, yeah. I love that creating it for a wise reason that there was a reason that you created it this way. You know, the classic client says, Why am I like this? And I love that question. Because we have answers, I can absolutely help you figure out why you are this way, and that there was a creative reason that you became this way. And I really do think that this is where we can bring in some of the like lightheartedness and laughter and humor, to this work, sometimes it can feel so heavy. But I think for myself, the more that I deepen into my own practice and show up for others, the more I can notice my inner teenager, notice my, you know, young adult self that is wanting to lean into these old styles, these old patterns, and, and almost have like a good laugh with her, like, I get it, I get it, you want to do this thing. You're right, it makes sense, that feels easier or safer, or it is, you know, more comfortable to just stay the way we are, I get it. And I think there can be so much more softness and compassion from that place. Whereas when we originally come into this work, I think it's so much of tug of war, right? We're, we're on one end of the rope and our past self is on the other end, and we're just pulling against each other. And I think really, the trick is when we can let go of the rope and go towards that past self go towards those mechanisms, that's when, you know, we don't have to play tug of war at all. Actually, we can be on the same team.

Stephanie Mara 12:56

Yeah, yeah, I love that imagery of a little bit of like parts work of, we have to befriend the part of us, let's say, I know a lot of individuals who are listening to this navigate patterns of like binge eating, or emotional eating or restriction where it's like that part of you, it's just a part of you. And that a lot of the times in a lot of modalities, it's like, Okay, we have to see that part as the problem. We have to like, get rid of this part so you can start taking care of yourself. And really, like you were saying, you created that part for a reason. And let's get to actually know that part and understand the impulses so that when they show up, it's not now, okay, you want to do that. Let's go do that. It's Oh, you're showing? Okay, you must need my attention. What are you needing from me right now, so that you get space from the reaction to the action. And it's like, oh, okay, I'm having a reaction. This part of me is showing up. I need to talk with this part of me, while also still getting curious about what's going to take care of my present day self.

Stephanie Scarminach 13:58

Absolutely, absolutely. And I think it really is the experience of teamwork that we can have in that place. You know, I talk a lot with my clients about the idea that my ultimate goal in somatic work is for them to come away feeling like they and their body are on a team, you know, your body as well as you know, your best friend that sometimes they don't even need words to communicate how they're doing, you just know. And this, I think, is really where we can gain efficacy and choice and empowerment in this work. Instead of it being the push against that past self. Oh my gosh, why are you like this? You keep doing this thing? I actually get to see it as an invitation. And oh, you want my attention? Oh, you need something from me? Well, if you know my best friend called and said she needed something, but I wouldn't resist. I would go right to it. And why can't it be the same with our nervous system in our body?

Stephanie Mara 14:58

Yeah, yeah. So in reference to the nervous system. You know, you've referenced that a little bit already, I'm curious about how you kind of bring in this information about working with the nervous system into your work and what it has to relate to someone you're working with.

Stephanie Scarminach 15:14

Absolutely. So, you know, really our internal anatomy is so complex we are, you know, we're brilliantly created with all of these different systems and the nervous system is no different. But in order to make it bite sized and digestible, I find that the piece we're really looking at is our regulatory nervous system, our autonomic nervous system, which is essentially the way that you will sensorally experience your emotional state. So it goes two directions, and that's it goes up and it goes down. Those are your only options. And up is your sympathetic nervous system. And that's your activation. And that doesn't have to mean just triggered, that can also mean excited, awake, moving through your day, I like to say, you know, when you wake up and you're brushing your teeth, and your morning, you're getting going there is some upward and momentum, energy happening. And then we have our parasympathetic, which is our downward direction in our nervous system. And that is not just depression and heaviness, but that can also be the calming, I sat down after lunch, and I am digesting, I am resting. And so we are alternating between up and down all day long, our entire life, we will just range into this, you know, the image of the radio wave, up and down, up and down our whole life. And where we are aiming to be in our up and down momentum is in our window of tolerance. And that's this in between area that can actually expand over time in doing the healing work. So our window of tolerance is not our range of comfort, but our range of tolerance. And that is, you know, a really important part of this, right? Because so many folks come to us saying I want to feel good. And I want you to also feel good. But you know, we got to understand being good isn't the only part of human experience. Yes, there's going to be other stuff. And so how do I help you feel that when that other stuff happens, you can tolerate it, you can be in relationship with it without being you know, blown outside of this window. So the way that we expand that window is by taking a step out. And if we take a step out on the upward direction from the sympathetic perspective, it's called hyper arousal. And if we take a step out from the downward motion, the parasympathetic called hypo arousal, and we can track which way your nervous system is going based on your sensory cues. And I'm sure the folks that you work with are familiar with this, people listening are probably saying, I've heard this 100 times. But just as a quick overview, these sensations of your sympathetic are going to be quicker, they're going to be hotter, there's going to be a little more aliveness. Right, you're activated. So that can mean when you're excited, and you are exuberant, you are emanating, you are radiating light, you feel good, you are just wiggling out of your skin. And then also, that can look like a panic attack, that can be too much stimulation, too much quivering, too much intensity. And in the other direction, we've got that slowness, that regulation that can feel cozy and warm. And oh, I just want to wrap up with a blanket and tea. And it can also look like sleeping excessively, feeling literally lethargic, and heavy in our limbs. Having a hard time hearing the conversation that you're having, your sight will often go fuzzy and out of focus. So these are all the sensory cues that we use. And that is really the way that I try to take something complex and break it down. Even though as I'm saying all of that now I'm realizing it's still a lot of information, right?

Stephanie Mara 18:56

You did such a beautiful job just breaking that down really simply. So I just want to name that because it is really complicated. But you just actually simplified it in a really fantastic way of like, Hey, here's just what's going on internally when you're potentially feeling these things.

Stephanie Scarminach 19:13

Absolutely. And what's cool about somatics is that means that I can sit down across from somebody not know what the story is, or what's happening out in their world, and just watch, just look at what's happening in their body. Do they have a leg bouncing, or they have a hard having a hard time making eye contact? How fast is the speech coming out of their mouth, all of these cues tell me this is maybe where you are this is maybe where you are. And I think that is really what makes, for me, somatic approach is so powerful because it's less about the story that's happening and more about how you're experiencing the story. And I think this is really the edge where the brain can be a tool but the body is also meant to be a tool as well. And so we can lean into your capacity for feeling your experiential sensations as an information source just as much as we do the brain that part of you that wants to figure it out, wants to connect the dots wants to fix it. Let's bring those two together and use that incredible brain power to connect the dots to connect the dots internally, huh, I always feel this quiver in my chest when I leave, you know, my, my partner's house. Wow, I really experienced this sense of like heaviness, and lethargic energy when I have to go home for the holidays. Okay, okay. So there is something happening, there is a pattern and tuning in to those patterns, with our brains incredible ability to track and be aware, with the sensory process of it is really where we get to like, Okay, now we're building a team. Now we've got to know all these players on our panel to help us figure it out.

Stephanie Mara 20:57

Yeah, what you fantastically just described is like the mind body connection. And that's, you know, and that sometimes our mind misinterprets, what our body is trying to say, and makes up all these stories, where that's where we have to drop into the body to hear its story, and kind of drop out of mental description for a period of time to actually learn, oh, what is this body's message? And then how can I start interpreting it in a different way?

Stephanie Scarminach 21:29

Yes, that it's not that one is right or wrong, but that there are multiple stories at play. And that our brain usually is operating from the stories we've been literally taught, oh, my, my grandmother said, You are a messy child. And so from that day on, anytime I made a mess, I thought, Gosh, I am a messy child, I'm a messy child, and I became a messy adult. And if I'm a messy adult, then I'll never get it together. And I'll always be bad, I'll never be enough. Our brain really attaches to those so strongly, and not that our body doesn't. But I think what really trips people up is they'll be in an experience, trying to think their way out of it, when their body is saying, I feel bad, I feel bad, I feel bad and our brain is going, you shouldn't feel bad. There's nothing wrong here. You're fine. Get it together, keep going. But wow, something, okay, one of your information sources is telling you something different. And that, for me is always one of the like, first markers that I teach clients to look for. If your brain and your body are sending you different messages, there's something there's something going on?

Stephanie Mara 22:34

Yeah, what do you find starts that disconnect, of you're hearing one message and then the other, like you pointed to some examples arlready. And I'd love to dive into it a little bit more. Because I find this even happens in one's relationship with food, for example of like, finish all the food on your plate. And the kids like No, but I'm full. And it's like, no, you cannot leave until you finish all the food on your plate. And like you were talking about before that automatically sends that message at a very young age, I cannot trust myself, I have to trust this external source and not my own internal cues. And I'm curious, what else have you seen?

Stephanie Scarminach 23:10

Yeah, absolutely, really, the messaging from outside of ourselves really makes a big imprint. But also, there's this deep need as children right to be believed, to know that your experience is real, but also a deep need for connection. If I think that I will get more connection by finishing the food on my plate, most kids are likely to do that. They're going to be within the system and that really stems, comes back to our like human and animal need to be a part of a pack, to be kicked out of your community of your, you know, tribe, in the early human eras was to die. You can't survive by yourself, you do need others and that's not just out of a survival state, but also the emotional needs that we have to be connected to be seen to be loved really is about relational dynamics. And so if I feel like I will be more loved by following the rules by doing what I'm supposed to do, we really see people getting very wrapped up and intertwined in this you know, it's kind of that image of the tangled ball of yarn that as we start to pull it and unspool it we can really see Ah some of this is about the stories that I heard, some of this is about the need for a loyalty to my family systems so that I could demonstrate I am a part of you, some of this is about connection. I believe I will be loved if I look a certain way, I believe I'll be given better relationship, there's so many interlocking pieces here and I think as we are untangling it ooooh I think there is a breath in me that comes in like a sense of heaviness because there is not just one answer, right? There's so so many. And it is that image of the, you know, the police station with all of the red twine from picture to picture, thing to thing that you are an interdimensional and connected being, your multi-dimensional and that can feel complex, that can feel overwhelming, because gosh, I would love a simple answer sometimes. But the complexity is what gives us the depth. The range is what gives us perspective. And the, you know, this question of what causes us to question our own innate knowings, I think really comes back to the idea that we don't necessarily understand that it is an innate knowing in the beginning, where, again, just learning how to be human, and we are doing our best with the limited tools that we have, you know, think about five year olds don't have the capacity to understand trauma and complexity, ancestral lineages, and all of I mean, you know, maybe some five year olds do but, but cognitively to be able to walk them through these kinds of concepts. It's just too much. And so we create, we create these creative systems to help us piece together this kind of complex human experience that we are that we are navigating.

Stephanie Mara 26:24

Yeah, this piece of connection. I'm so glad you brought that in, it makes me think of, we judge ourselves so much for self abandoning, or it's like, oh, I shouldn't have left myself, why did I do that again. But what you beautifully just described was, sometimes we're taught to self abandon, and that we naturally will self abandon when we are a kid, to make sure that we stay alive in the world. And so even as you're starting to, like, deepen into relationship with yourself, and you're noticing how much you self abandon, instead of judging yourself, even providing that maybe like inner child some compassion, over oh this is a coping mechanism I needed. And I created to make sure that I would stay alive in the world and actually abandoning myself has worked for a really long time.

Stephanie Scarminach 27:12

Right, right. And it's not always an overtly clear message of abandon yourself to stay with us. Right? I think that's the other thing I see is folks saying, but my, I love my parents, they did their best or like, I love the people that raised me, they gave me everything. It's not to say that there was fault, necessarily. I think for some folks, it is important to acknowledge that your parents didn't do their best, they didn't know better. And for some folks, that is a really hard edge to ride, to say, this was what I took out of it. And you did do your best. This was what I interpreted from that experience. And I see that that's not what you meant now.

Stephanie Scarminach 27:12

Yeah, yeah. And like you have been pointing out, this is so multi layered and such a process. And so if we could even chunk it down into like a baby step, you know, that someone is maybe kind of playing with the idea of getting into somatic work, but they're not sure yet. And it feels a little scary, you know, what's kind of a first baby step that they can even start to do in their own life to start coming into relationship with their body and their sensations and their emotions?

Stephanie Scarminach 28:24

Mm hmm. I love this one, because I think this is the taste test, you know, we get the flight and you get to nibble on all the pieces. So to break down, like the first place to start with the somatics is to really ask this question of what can I feel in my body, we see mindfulness and contemplative practices really making you know, a run for the the front and center light in popular in pop culture right now in mental health. And that's a wonderful thing. And that's really where we want to begin with somatics as well is can you contemplatively, notice your internal experience. And that doesn't mean all the time every day, but take five minutes. And if you do a body scan, if you can imagine sensing the texture of your breath, the color, or the consistency, the temperature, what is that like? What is there? Are you breathing? How deep are you breathing? And in that breath, what do you notice, as you notice it, does it change? Does it stay the same? And the breath is a really easy one to use in that way. And it's always you know, a good trick, especially for folks who are anxious or having a hard time we know that you can activate your vagus nerve, which is your 12 cranial nerve and that is what can really jumpstart your parasympathetic nervous system so your regulatory body will come into play, if you're using that breath contemplatively, and we can also start to dip our toe in the somatic water by getting curious about what a feeling feels like. And that might sound like a very meta kind of question. But what I'm meaning by that is when you feel happy, how do you know? How do you know you're happy? How would you, if I had never felt happy, never felt anything like that, how would you describe this is what marks happiness, and that we mark that by our sensory experience of it. And this can be where we start to expand. So you can make a list all of your core five emotions, you know, sad, happy, angry, and so on. How do you know? How do you know you feel afraid? How do you know you feel sad? What is the sensation in your body that tells you that, and then if folks really want to start expanding this, this is where I think the nuance of somatic is so tasty, you can really sink your teeth into this part when you are happy versus ecstatic versus content. What's the difference? Those are all roughly in the same category. But there are nuances. There are very distinct little, little tweaks, little differences that say, Oh, this content. Content feels more calm and restful, and in the positive. Feeling happy. I think I feel more front facing, there's energy. Whereas excited and exuberant, I am bursting at the seams, she is loud, vibrating, but that even from there, we could say what about anxiety? How do you know you're anxious? Sometimes I do feel bursting at the seams. Sometimes I do feel loud, sometimes I do feel high frequency. But that that is different than excited, even though from a sensory description, they can sound really similar.

Stephanie Mara 31:48

Yeah, it makes me think of those signs in like a doctor's office that's like on a scale from 1 to 10, like, how much pain are you in? And like all the faces have different expressions and different colors. And yeah, like there's a whole range within the emotion that we're feeling of what we could be experiencing. So I appreciate that suggestion. And that also, as you're starting to tap in, sometimes these can feel even overwhelming to start to notice, like, oh, there's a difference to this. And like you said before that, you know, if it's starting to feel like too much, you can back away from it, you can be like, Okay, that was enough, I could sit with joy for about one second. And that that was amazing. And now I need to kind of like move on to something else.

Stephanie Scarminach 32:38

Absolutely, absolutely. It really comes back to this piece about titrating. Right, I put one foot in and I take one foot out, especially in a world where I've never taught that it's okay to be in my body. I don't have that window of tolerance for these experiences. And that's not to say it's good or bad. But it does impact how we move through life and how easy challenges come to us and how easily we overcome them. You know, the mark of growth is not that we will never have challenge. Rather how fast we can turn the corner and come back to ourselves. How fast we can notice the pattern, catch it and then soothe, ask for help tune in and connect, you know how fast we can use those tools to regulate and come home. And that there's no right timing for this. I think that's always a hard one to help folks understand is there's this deep desire for right now. And I think there are folks who need it right now, you're in crisis, your experience is too intense to do this kind of slow, steady work. And so that I think is where the tangible, like right now tools are powerful do come into play. And somatics sometimes can feel slower, you know, this is learning how to swim. And I don't really want to throw you into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to blow bubbles and paddle through the water and you know, flip up onto your back to breathe. You need those skills. And those kinds of skills take time.

Stephanie Mara 34:13

Yeah, yeah. You know, I think also just in the self growth arena, there's so often this you got to go deep, you got to go all in, you got to go to like the core of everything that's like, quote unquote, wrong with you. And which can be really, really traumatizing. And when you talk about one step out, what does that mean, and what does that look like? Because I think a lot of people know how to jump in off the deep end. They're like, Oh my gosh, now what do I do? How do I get out of this?

Stephanie Scarminach 34:42

Oof. Getting out of the pool is a skill set, is absolutely a skill set. Especially if we are the kind of people who feel overwhelmed by our feelings. And I think especially if people in the healing world it is so common to see people who are like serial course takers or like, do 10 different therapists in a year and I've tried all the modalities, I've taken all the trainings, we are hungry for the knowledge. But that doesn't mean we're necessarily integrating the knowledge. And sometimes getting out of the water is where you integrate. So it's a little bit like the idea of the window of tolerance. And getting out of the pool is stepping away from the experience to observe it, taking a breather, being in the emotions is helpful, to allow them to process and to allow them to be seen. But there becomes a point where we are too saturated, you know, your fingers are becoming pruney, it's time to get out. So that you can employ your brain use those cognitive abilities go hmm, you know, it's really interesting, in the shallow end, I paddle just fine. But in the deep end, I don't I'm much more scared. We can't do that kind of analysis when we're swimming. Because we're so focused on the swimming piece. If I am in the intensity of that drowning experience, I can't catch my breath, I'm not going to be able to connect the dots about how that's also how I felt when I was three. That's also how I felt at 16. We just can't do that. Because our brain is literally in a different functioning, you know, our fight flight response when that is online, your prefrontal cortex, your thinking brain, it turns off that part of the factory shut down. And so literally, you can't make sense of it. And that's not a fault of yours. That is your wiring, your designing. And so to get out of the pool, sometimes for focus this can feel like dissociating or I know for myself sometimes being told, like we need to get out of the water, it feels like Well, I'm abandoning the part of me that's still swimming. And this is a really tough edge to ride. When we are deep feelers, I think those are the folks that I really see struggle with this the most is we want to make sure that we're doing it right. Am I, if I get out of the pool, how do I know that I am still healing. If I'm not feeling it all the way, I need to have the intensity, to know that it's happening, that it's working. And it's the idea of having a rest day for the people who work out. It's the idea of needing to sleep at night so that your brain and your body can replenish. It's the idea that you need to drink water during the day, going at 100 miles an hour, 100% of the time, your body is just not built for that. You actually need to get out of the pool, towel off. And one of the tools that I use help clients do that is this pause, and then starting to regulate back into the space, into the container. Whether that means open your eyes, look at me, what color is my shirt? How about my background? How many plants can you see? Starting to cognitively have to identify what is this present moment around me made up of? And that can feel like a silly thing at first. Because those are such plain simple questions. And for folks who are doing this by themselves, you can do this as well. Looking around the room you're in what are three blue things you can see, what color are your shoes? Is it sunny outside? Just noting these kinds of things really help take us out of the internal emotional sensation back into that more tangible, you know, material visceral plain, and that from here now you can say, Hmm, interesting, I noticed this, I noticed this. And that's where we get to kind of put all the ideas together.

Stephanie Mara 38:42

Yeah, I appreciate the simplicity of that. And you know, it's interesting, it makes me think of, I was experiencing a lot of panic attacks in my early 20s. And I would drive from, I went to my undergraduate was in Vermont, and I lived in Connecticut, I grew up there. And I would do that drive. It's about like a four and a half drive, if you're driving at a clip. It's about a four and a half drive. And if I noticed, like start starting to identify, what does panic feel like in my body? And how do I know that this is panic that is happening? And I would simply like, I learned this from probably my first like mindfulness teachers so this was like a very long time ago, of like, just describe your environment while you're driving home. And I know, like you said, like it sounds kind of silly or like really simple like, why would this be effective? But it's crazy when you're just like, the road is this. That tree is this. There is a cloud there. That so lands you inside of your body that it's like this is what's real. This is what's tangible. This is what is happening right here and right now. Not what I'm thinking about from the past or worrying about in the future. Like this is actually where my body at is at in space in this moment. That can be so incredibly grounding.

Stephanie Scarminach 40:03

Yeah, yeah. The what is real question, I think is really powerful in that way. Because in the emotional experience, there's no walls, there's no up and down, right, we are just immersed in it. And when we come back into this plane of existence, trees, they grow two directions, the roots go down, the trunk goes up. Birds, they fly like this. Cars, they drive like that. There's less options and less variability. And I think it makes the overwhelming, kind of less whelming. If that makes sense.

Stephanie Mara 40:41

Yeah, yeah. Well, I so appreciate all of your wisdom today. This has been such a profound conversation and just appreciate you bringing all of your somatic wisdom here, because for a lot of individuals, yeah, this is totally new and learning the language of the body, this is not taught. It's not taught in school, it is not taught to us from usually our families, like this is something that is getting more popular that maybe more individuals will teach their kids over time, hopefully. But it's the kind of as like adults that didn't get this when we were younger, we kind of have to learn, it's learning a new language.

Stephanie Scarminach 41:20

Absolutely, it really is. And I think my goal is to make this new language feel tangible and feel digestible. Your system is already naturally doing this. We're just putting labels and language to it. But this is your natural way of existing.

Stephanie Mara 41:37

Yeah. Yeah. Beautifully said, Well, how can individuals keep in touch with you and your work and what you're doing in the world?

Stephanie Scarminach 41:45

Absolutely. So the social media platforms are the easiest way to keep up and keep in touch, I manage the platform on you know, myself with, with my assistant. So most likely, if you're sending a DM, that is me that you're sending it to. So you are welcome to follow the Instagram or the TikTok and that is just @stephaniesomatics, somatics with an S at the end. And for folks who are interested in either one on one work, or I have a 30 day course that really breaks down the meat of what we would do in individual sessions and kind of stretches it over the course of four weeks is a little bit more, a bit more of a bite sized approach. So there's individual work, and I have a team of folks that I get to work with. And so we are accepting clients right now, we've got availability, and there's the course option as well, for folks who are ready to titrate a little bit on their own, dip a toe in and dip a toe out.

Stephanie Mara 42:43

Love it. And you put out fantastic content on social media, just like introducing somatics to individuals and making this practice just really approachable. So I so appreciate what you're doing in the world.

Stephanie Scarminach 42:56

Thank you, it's an honor to get to share this and do this work it is also you know, been such a treat to get to step into a community of people like yourself who also practice and you know, not just talk the talk, but really walk the walk.

Stephanie Mara 43:12

Yeah, I agree, especially when you kind of have, like we first started, launched into somatcs in
a world that was like, What is this thing? Yeah, it's, it's, I would say that's so important. And such a great note to end on that when you start practicing this, like finding people that you can talk about it with, because it's not everyone's language. And also there might be people who aren't ready for this or aren't interested in diving into this work. And that's okay, too. And so even finding a community of people that you can talk about what this is like getting to know your body and how it talks to you through sensation, and through emotion can be so comforting to feel like you're not alone on this journey.

Stephanie Scarminach 43:55

Absolutely. Having a common language is I think one of the easiest ways for us to feel connected. For myself, as you know, a bilingual person, I think as soon as I meet somebody else that also says they speak that language. It's immediately like, you get it, you get it, and I think it can be the same thing with somatics.

Stephanie Mara 44:14

Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you again for being here. And for everyone listening, if you have any questions, I will put our contacts in the show notes along with all the links, and I hope you all have a beautiful rest of your day and I will talk to you all very soon. Bye!

Keep in touch with Stephanie here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniesomatics/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stephaniesomatics

Website: https://stephaniesomatics.com/

Contact: stephanie@stephaniesomatics.com