This Is What Your Inner Child Needs To Hear This Holiday Season

How old were you when you started to choose food to self soothe? Sometimes this can happen later in life and what I often hear with those that I work with is that it started very young. The overeating, emotional eating, binge eating, undereating, restriction all came into your younger you's life for a reason.

And what plays out in your relationship with food during the holidays is also happening to protect and support your Inner Child in many different ways.

Today, I wanted to write a love letter to your Inner Child to offer an example of what they might need to hear during this holiday season.

Dear Inner Child,

Thank you. I know you have always done the best you could to support me in navigating the holidays with ease. I'm so sorry you haven't been met and seen the ways you needed to be. I'm sorry your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your cousin, your family makes comments about your body, your life, your choices. I'm sorry they point out what, when, and how much you're eating. I'm sorry they have not been able to see you the way I see you. My dear, you are so much more than how you look and what you eat.

I know the hiding you did was to protect yourself. I know when you lose your words that you feel unsafe. I know that when you tell me to go eat more even though I'm full that you're feeling overwhelmed. I also know it has been hard for me to show up for you. You feel so much and so deeply that I just want to run away from you. I'm sorry you feel abandoned. I get why you feel that way. I will continue to do my best to show up for you the ways you have needed.

I will listen to you when you say you need more food and I will also get curious with you to explore what else you might be needing. I will hug you, hold you, scratch your back, and stroke your hair when you need it. If you need to take a break from everyone, we can go outside and play together. And when you feel disappointed, frustrated, and hurt, I will try and not run away from you as well. I will be there for you in whatever you're feeling.

You are not too much. You do not take up too much space. You do not need to shrink yourself or make yourself smaller to feel safe anymore. You, just as you are, is enough. Whoever has made you believe any differently, I will set the boundaries you need that they don't get to make you feel that way anymore. I will be the fierce protector you always needed. I will be the warm motherly hug you want to feel. I will be the proud parent celebrating you. And I want you to know, that you should be so very proud of yourself. You have navigated so much in your life. You are strong. You are resilient. You are loved.

Take my hand. I've got you. Talk to me as much as you need to about what you need and I will listen the best I can.

Love, Me

Your Inner Child telling you to eat more or restrict more this holiday season is them trying to protect you.

They may feel nervous, anxious, disappointed, or overwhelmed, and food is there to help regulate. Nourish them with the food they need and get curious how else you could support them in feeling safe in non-food ways. Writing a letter to your Inner Child can be one way to show up for them. You can write out what you want them to know, what you know they deserve, where you have struggled. You can apologize to them and you can be honest with them.

This is a practice of deepening into relationship with a part of you. When you feel connected and heard and seen with yourself and by yourself, the relaxation, safety, and attunement you're perhaps looking for by eating can get cultivated in non-food ways as well. Eating and non-eating activities both get to be tools in your holiday self care toolbox. You get to decide what is going to be most supportive to you and your Inner Child in any moment. And once you make your Food Decision, you get to trust that you have made the best decision you could.