Stepping Into More: More Food, More Muscle, More Presence
Welcome to the Satiated Podcast where we explore physical and emotional hunger and satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor. I can't wait to dive in today with Kylie Larson. Kylie is the founder of Lift To Get Lean. She has a passion for changing lives and helping others reach their full potential in all areas of life. Her fitness and nutrition career started by teaching yoga and quickly snowballed into more. She asks those she works with to go deeper, and examine their thoughts around themselves food, exercise and diet. I actually had been taking Kylie's yoga classes online at Yoga Download for years before we even connected. She is an amazing teacher and challenges diet culture, through supporting individuals in healing their relationship with food and trust that they can provide their body with more than what they have been giving it. Welcome, Kylie. I am so excited to talk with you today.
Kylie Larson 01:12
Thank you, I am so excited to talk with you too. I love what you do. I love how you help people and the mission that you are living out right now as well.
Stephanie Mara 01:22
Yeah, so I would love to first share a little bit more about how you got into this work, and more about how you are challenging diet culture. In like, everything you put out there is such a different message that individuals really need to hear.
Kylie Larson 01:37
Yeah, so like you mentioned, I mean, I have a previous life, I like to call it, where I was not involved in yoga, or nutrition or fitness. I mean, I did the things. I thought I was eating nutritiously. I graduated from college with a degree in marketing, and I was in the marketing and advertising industry. And I had dealt with a lot of disordered eating. And I don't know if I would admit it back then, looking back, of course, it's crystal clear. And also a dysfunctional relationship with exercise and really abusing my body in the way that I would try and reach my physique goals. And fast forward. You know, a couple years after me working in marketing and advertising, I fell in love with yoga. I started practicing yoga, because I had an overuse injury, like a lot of people that have that relationship with exercise do, I was just running too much, not even training for a marathon or anything, Stephanie just overuse. And I had a stress fracture. So I couldn't do anything, I could not do anything. But when I could start moving again, I started practicing yoga. And it it sounds so cliche, it changed my life. I knew once I started practicing yoga that I wanted to become a yoga teacher. And the path for me to become a yoga teacher was not quick, it was long. But once I did finally become a yoga teacher, that's really when everything started clicking. And that opened doors for me to teaching other classes. And, you know, continue to light that fire that I had for fitness. But I still had not put together the piece of the puzzle with the nutrition. Right. I was still trying to manipulate my body with exercise. And I ended up doing one of those physique competitions. And it's something I've always wanted to do. And I don't regret it at all, because that's honestly where I started to learn about nutrition. I learned about proteins, carbohydrates, and fats and how you use those macronutrients to build your body. And while there was a lot of dysfunction with that process, like I can see it now red flags all over the place, I learned I was like, Oh, so it's the nutrition that pulls the trigger here. And then I knew I knew there had to be a way for someone to achieve their physique goals without doing crazy things without all those red flags that I can now so prevalently see. And that's what started my journey with the nutrition coaching. And then as you know, nutrition is never about the food, it's always about so much more. And that's really how I developed the program, you know, focusing on why we're doing these things? And are we doing them for the right reasons, and making sure we're fueling our bodies appropriately. And once we're doing that, and we're focused more on a feeling, those physique changes are going to be a byproduct of that. And I truly do believe I think it's okay to have physique goals. I think we don't have to have the world tell us we have to look a certain way or it's not okay to look a certain way we can't have this or that goal. But there's a way to go about it that is sustainable, and it can also improve the relationship that we have with food and exercise.
Stephanie Mara 04:41
Yeah, I love this balance that I often find in your messaging that it's that I think a lot of individuals when you get into the world of like, okay, I want to respect my body. Well, what exactly does that look like? And does that mean its just okay, just this this is how it's going to be and you know, I can't work towards more and it's like mmmm it gets to be both that it's like you get to instead view it as I get to grow and I can challenge my body, not necessarily that I have to change to get the love or acceptance or belonging that I'm looking for, I know that I deserve that, regardless of my body, how my body ever changes, and I'm still interested in challenging my body in new and different ways as well. And that's okay, too.
Kylie Larson 05:25
It really is that AND, totally, like you said, it's the why. I'm not wanting to change or challenge my body to prove anything. It's just something I want for myself. I am choosing, and there's a lot of power in that.
Stephanie Mara 05:38
Yeah, so of your experience, what have you found, why dieting doesn't work? Because I know, we kind of go out there and we say a lot of the you know, all the statistics of okay, 95% of diets don't work. But if we can actually get, of just your nutrition background, like on a physiological level, why doesn't dieting work?
Kylie Larson 05:56
Dogma aside, physiologically, diets do not work. The very reason being the minute you go on a diet, your body, that's a signal to your body, and then she's like, okay, it's survival mode, Kylie's cutting calories again. You start this cascade, so your metabolism starts to slow down, once you start feeding it less. And so then let's say you throw an exercise on top of that you put in the old formula of eat less exercise more, well, your body gets more efficient at doing that exercise. So you can start running for 30 minutes, but then your body gets conditioned, it starts doing that more efficiently, you burn less calories, doing that exercise. So as your metabolism is down regulating from eating less, you're also becoming more efficient at this form of exercise. So you start to burn less and less calories. So I mean, that in and of itself, that's why from a physiological standpoint, diets don't work. I mean, I could talk about hormones and things of that nature. But what we need to understand is our metabolism slows down, we start feeding less, all our body wants to do is keep us alive, it doesn't care if we have fat loss, or physique goals. And then also, I will talk about just our hunger and satiety hormones. I mean, if you're ever wondering why all of a sudden you go on a diet, and you're actually hungrier, it's not made up in your head, that is true. So the hormone that tells us that we are hungry it increases, when we go on a diet. So great, you just cut some calories, and now you're feeling hungrier faster. And the hormone that tells us that we're satiated or satisfied, it decreases. So also you now, it takes more for you to be satisfied, but you're eating less. So its these signals in our bodies, they're fighting tooth and nail for us to stay the same. Now, this is not to say that we can't find a way to work around this. But that's why diets don't work. That's why you've lost weight 10 times over and we're still in the same spot.
Stephanie Mara 07:56
I love this reminder of your body's trying to keep you alive. And here comes diet culture being like, Oh, you're just not doing it right, try harder. And it feels like, again, this threat to your body, oh, I'm not doing it, right. And it's like this, you know, Tiger chasing you. And so it's like, I just need to, maybe I need to cut more out of my eating. And it keeps snowballing on itself to actually, you know, to the point where it's just like, oh, it's now starting to backfire where now I'm noticing myself emotionally eating, binge eating, because at some point, the body's gonna take over. Like you need to give me the nutrition that I'm looking for. Because I need to know that I can continue to keep you alive.
Kylie Larson 08:41
Absolutely. And like you said, we then internalize this, like, it's my fault. I don't have enough willpower. I can't stick to anything. Insert whatever dialogue people have. And then it ends up slingshotting us in another direction. Like everything you said, the emotional eating, binge eating, and so it's just a backfire. It's it's a loop that we have got to get out of.
Stephanie Mara 09:02
Yeah. So what do you feel like are first baby steps for people to start getting out of it?
Kylie Larson 09:08
Oh, my gosh, shift the focus. To building muscle. It feels so much better. It's a totally different mentality. You're not trying to make yourself smaller, you're not focused on depriving yourself, you're focused on growing, like you're growing into this person that you want to be rather than trying to make yourself smaller, even if that is your ultimate goal. Like if you want you know, let's say you have weight to lose, and you do want to be smaller, the best way to go about that is to focus on building muscle and that you do that with strength training. Your body adapts to strength training, but it works to your benefit rather than a cardio. So when you adapt to strength training, that means you get stronger you start increasing your weight and that's what builds the muscle and that's what's going to help to increase your metabolism which is what we want. The diet method slows our metabolism down. Building muscle builds your metabolism. Guess what else builds your metabolism? Eating more food. So I know like if people you're like, but I want to lose weight, you're telling me to eat more? If you focus on building muscle, yes. So that's been that's a, it's a baby step. And but it's so hard for people to shift their focus. That's it's probably also a baby step but a big step at the same time, mental, a mental hurdle. If you will.
Stephanie Mara 10:22
Yeah. I just wanted to add that I know in everything that you put out there, which is like this is your messaging of how you challenge diet culture is eat more. And I think that also including that is, take a break from the scale, you know, or throw it out entirely. Because actually, that means that because you are potentially challenging your body in new and different ways physically with different kind of physical movements and that might include lifting weights, because I know that's a lot of what you teach, and also being sure that you are feeding your body to support the new physical movement that you're doing, the scale is going to change in a way that your brain says, oh, but wait this is bad. And that's why we have to move away from the numbers and tune into well, how is this making you feel? For example, I'm also someone who is a fan of lifting weights, you know, probably started learning lifting weights when I was in undergrad. And it always has made me feel empowered in my body, and less about what it like any bodily changes, often that does happen when you do lift weights, but it's like, oh, is this making me feel the way I want to feel in my system?
Kylie Larson 11:32
I couldn't agree more. And something I like to remind people of, I don't know where these weights come from, these ideal body weights that we have. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't use to have one. And I again, I don't know where that arbitrary number came from. But if I think back, I know where that number came from. It's not a healthy spot. But the physique that we want it honestly, it honestly weighs 10 pounds more than whatever goal weight, someone has. This is just the fact of the way your your body is going to change your body composition. So I agree the scale is a tool, but it is not. You've got to step away from it when you're having this focus. Absolutely. Because your mind will stop you from that place. Like everyone knows these things. And I can get them to drink the Kool Aid, I can get them to drink the Kool Aid, but then they'll hop on the scale, and it says one thing, and they're feeling great about themselves before and their energy levels are up. And they have all of this strength and endurance, and they even look better. But if they get on the scale, and the scale doesn't reflect what they think it should, then all of a sudden they feel bad again.
Stephanie Mara 12:39
Yeah, I mean, it's so interesting, you can be in such an amazing spot where I'm feeling empowered and energetic, and I'm sleeping better and my energy feels better. And then one second later, because you see a number, it completely changes how you feel in your body and about yourself.
Kylie Larson 12:57
Mm hmm. It's so true.
Stephanie Mara 12:58
I would love to hear more, because it's something that's really interesting that I feel like has become more popular over the past several years, is this idea about reverse dieting.
Kylie Larson 13:07
Oh, my favorite topic.
Stephanie Mara 13:09
And so I'd love to have you share a little bit about what is reverse dieting and why it's so important, especially for someone who's been on a diet for a really long time.
Kylie Larson 13:19
Yes, so we mentioned all the reasons diets don't work. Okay, so diets don't work. But what I would call a fat loss phase, which is you being in a caloric deficit does work. But if you don't have an exit strategy from that fat loss phase, you will end up like you've always ended up: you'll lose the weight, then you gain it back. A reverse diet is basically what it sounds like instead of cutting calories, you slowly and gradually add more calories to what you have been eating. And this is how you also build your metabolism. So we've talked about these adaptations, your body adapts, you build muscle, your metabolism adapts to the lower calories. But the good news is you can also get it to adapt to more calories. And this is the way out of the hamster wheel. Because you can reach your goal and then you can reverse diet and ride off into the sunset and live at your maintenance calories, stop tracking calories, stop paying so much attention to what you're eating, if you follow this process through. So what you do is if you've been tracking your macros, which you don't even have to track your macros in order to do this, so long as you know what proteins, carbohydrates, and fats are. You slowly gradually start adding more carbohydrates and fats to your day. And you do that you increase the volume about every two weeks or so. So you have total control throughout this process. And then all the sudden you have gone from eating 1500 calories on your diet to now eating 2,000 or 2,500, who knows how many calories per day your metabolism has adjusted up it is upregulated. And now you can handle those extra calories. And then you know, if you want to go into a fat loss phase again, then the next time you go into a fat loss phase, you don't have to, like suffer off 1500 calories again. You could build your metabolism up so that you could go to a fat loss phase on 2000 calories. So it's really amazing. And again, it's this idea that I'm in control. Not that we need to control our bodies all the time, but I am in control of this process, I can build my metabolism up, I can choose to change my goal at any point in time. And to me, this reverse diet is a wonderful way to improve your relationship with food to challenge your relationship with food, because everyone's just, "Oh yah, I've got a good relationship with food." Until you ask them to eat more. And then that resistance pops up. And we have to really look at that. Why is this resistance popping up? Why am I afraid to add more food? And that's where that trust that you mentioned earlier, like in the intro, trust that your body can deal with this food, your body will know exactly what to do. We just have to trust that she will do it. So to me, the reverse diet was the best thing I ever did for my relationship with food. And of course, my metabolism.
Stephanie Mara 16:13
Yeah, I know, we're talking a lot about a lot of numbers at this point, and I'm wondering if we can drop into even if someone's like, you know, if it feels like mmm counting is kind of putting me back into that dieting mentality, and I'm not ready to be there. And you know, I really am still trying to kind of trust my body. And like you said, you can even do this without counting the numbers. And it's just including more carbohydrates and fats in your daily intake. And I'm curious, like when you started doing that, what did you notice on a physiological level? Because you can also track how you feel. And so like, what did you notice in how you felt different when you started to eat more?
Kylie Larson 16:50
This is the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I actually got leaner when I started eating more everyone. Because my body settled down, it knew it was going to be getting more food. And that's, that's very typical. I'm not saying that's going to happen with everyone. But that is a very possible thing. So that was the first thing that happened. At the same point in time, I had also been cutting back on cardio, so I had energy. I also had more time in my day, because I was cutting back on the exercise and I was adding more food. So it was like this whole other world opened up to me. And if anyone has been like stuck in that place where you focus on food and exercise all the time, you know how draining that is. I remember that. It's like all I thought about. So I had all of this energy, my body was responding in a much better way, I was sleeping better. I didn't have cravings anymore. And I stopped, like the mindless snacking and the nighttime bingingish episodes. They just went away because my body was getting what she needed. It was fascinating. Now that I understand how it all works, it's not fascinating. It's like Oh, yeah.
Stephanie Mara 18:10
It's like Oh, yeah maybe my body was asking for more food. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense.
Kylie Larson 18:15
Yep. And then also, I mean, so at first I got a little bit leaner, and then everything stayed the same. And then I was able to also then get stronger, that's when I really was able to get strong, because I had enough fuel in the tank to lift heavier in the gym. So it was great. It's wild. And I understand everyone's apprehension with it, because we've never done it before. But I will say no one's ever regretted going through this process. And each time you do it, it gets easier. Because that trust you build that trust with your body, you know how she's going to respond. And you can actually start to go a little bit more quickly, the more you do it, and I'm not saying that you need to always go on a diet, and then reverse diet, and then go on a diet and then reverse diet, but your body just adapts to this. And so you can be a little bit more aggressive. And honestly, some people can go right back up to eating at their maintenance level calories, or, you know, you know what your maintenance day looks like if we're not, you know, counting numbers or anything. It's amazing.
Stephanie Mara 19:20
Yeah, and I know that you also have really shifted, like you said, not doing as much cardio that that actually and I would love for you to talk a little bit more about that. And again, like I'm of the, you know, the kind of mentality of find the physical movement that feels best to you and your system. And I've heard you to talk about how freeing it has felt to like let go of cardio and it wasn't the end all be all thing and that actually focusing more on lifting weights supported you in, you know, it just resonated more with your body and what your goals were.
Kylie Larson 19:50
Mmmhmm. And, you know, I do believe we need cardiovascular exercise for general fitness. Absolutely. And also if you're lifting weights and if you're going heavy, your heart rate will get up. So you still get that element. But people ask me all the time, how did you let go of that? Because I think we do get kind of addicted to that feeling of cardio, that sweaty, breathless, I've just laid it all out on the treadmill or Stairmaster or spin bike. It took me trusting someone else, it took me putting myself in that place of maybe I don't know. And I hired a professional to help me with that. Right. I had hired a nutrition coach to help me navigate this. So that was the first thing. I paid someone and I realized, maybe I don't know what's best for my body. But, that's why we have coaches and mentors, right. And then once I stepped away, I noticed when I add it back in, it would take me a long time. It would zap me for the day. And so I would you know, go do like a sprint session, or like intervals on the stairs. And the rest of the day, I really wasn't good for much. And I was like, Okay, well, that's, that's interesting. And that's a signal, maybe that's not the best for my system right now. Or I need to eat more to support that activity level. But then also, the results came once I started pulling away from all of that cardio, like I saw a physical transformation. And anytime you see that, then you get the buy in, right? Well, the proof is right there. That was really how I shifted it and understanding with so for me and my body type, it really is the strength training for me paired with the nutrition that helps me feel my best. And again, cardio, even though I liked it, or I thought I liked it. And I do I still like it. I love going to a spin class. It was always a should. And I think anytime it's I feel like I have to do this, it's this is a should we need to kind of examine what that looks like. I wasn't always doing it because I loved it. It's like a check, a box I needed to check off.
Stephanie Mara 21:52
Yeah, you know, like, I hear that there had to be this place of stepping into curiosity of like, Oh, I'm doing this thing, and actually I need to take some space from it to really actually acknowledge does this resonate with my body and where it's at right now. And I think from, because I love talking about the nervous system, is that like from a nervous system standpoint, if you're living already from a place of a fight or flight response, you're living in more of a sympathetic nervous system response most of the time, most of the day, that actually overdoing it on cardio is just making things worse.
Kylie Larson 22:26
It really is and you know, most recently, we started working with perimenopausal women. And so I'm 42. I'll be 43 next week, and ladies of you know, this age group, we really have to be mindful of our nervous system. That stress our body just trying to keep us alive. That's really what we need to be focusing on more than any numbers, right? Am I in parasympathetic or sympathetic? Am I in fight or flight or rest and digest? And the more we can be in rest and digest, the better. The better you will feel, the better you will look. If it's gonna put me in fight or flight, is it worth it?
Stephanie Mara 23:05
Yeah, you actually put out a post today. I was scrolling through Instagram right before we were going live. I was like, Oh my gosh, I love your post today. And I hope I'm gonna, you know, paraphrase this accurately. I think it what it said was like maybe your problem areas are actually like what's going on in your mind. It was something like that. And I loved that reframe that, I think you know, especially because diet culture and fitness culture is so focused on, you got to change this body part. And I know that a lot of what you address even in your programs is the mentality. And I would love for you to talk more about that of what do you feel like are the certain mentalities or thoughts that need to be addressed a little bit.
Kylie Larson 23:50
Yes. So that actually came from a conversation in my online community yesterday. One of the women posted a picture of herself, which we definitely encourage, right? Anytime you post a picture of yourself, I think that's a very vulnerable thing. But she made a comment like, well, I'm working on this area, and one of my members said, I think the problem might be your brain. Right? And I was like, Oh, thank you so much, Esther, that's tomorrow's Instagram post. But I think what we have to understand is, Body Dysmorphia is a very real thing. And I don't think any of us, no matter how well adjusted you are, knows what we look like, I just don't. And so that's why we have to examine what's the story I'm telling myself when I look in the mirror. And if we can start to change that story, if it needs to be changed, we can do that. Like what are the things that you say to yourself right off the bat and your body, just like she's just wanting to keep you alive, she hears everything that you say, and like this might sound a little woowoo but I know your listeners are probably woowoo like you...
Kylie Larson 24:56
If somebody was always saying mean things to you how would you want to respond? If you're constantly picking at yourself and pinching and poking and, I just why would she do what you want her to do if you're just constantly riding her so hard. So I do think it's got to start with the mind that, diet aside, because if you're not speaking to yourself in a kind way, you're not going to change and it's never going to be enough. And I think that's really a great place to start is start from this place of right now as I am, this is I'm enough. I'm perfect as I am, I am choosing to make this change, because I love myself. But you have to go about it with the right intention and examine your relationship with yourself. And then of course, build relationship with food.
Stephanie Mara 24:57
Yeah. Yeah.
Kylie Larson 24:58
Yeah, how do you find that, because in the moment, when that voice feels so loud, it feels like this is a truth. This has got to be real. I've got to change something. How have you supported individuals in starting to question it? Because I know you have a lot of different tools that you teach about starting to step into curiosity, even about how you're thinking about yourself.
Kylie Larson 26:12
Well, that curiosity. I love that it's this question of how do I know this to be true? A lot of times if you if you ask yourself that there's no evidence that that thought is true. And even just noticing, okay, this is the way that I'm speaking to myself, how can I how can I change that? What would I like to say to myself? And then also challenging women, I don't know if we haven't been taught that it's okay to say good things about ourselves. I look great today. I mean, I don't know we don't do that. Or if we do oftentimes, we feel weird. Like, look at my butt today. It looks great, right? People might be like, well, who does she think she is? But wouldn't it be way better? Like, wouldn't it be, I would rather you say, Oh, my God, hey, look at my butt today versus I feel so fat today. But why is that the normal thing? And we're like, Oh, I know, me too, last night...can we just change the conversation. So a lot of times, people, that doesn't feel natural, right? I can hear the eyes rolling, whenever I talk about that stuff. But you have to practice it. I mean, you just have to get in the habit of saying these other things, fill up on the good stuff, so that there's no more room for those negative things. It's not going to happen automatically. It has to become a conscious thing to begin with. And really, this is something I just took from Mel Robbins book, The High Five Habit, I don't know if you've read it, like in the morning, whether or not you high five yourself, say something nice the first time you see yourself. And then you get into this habit and you're starting to rewire those thoughts in your brain. It really is a practice. And I would say this is harder than following any certain diet, its harder than meal prep, it's harder than focusing on protein, carbs and fats at each meal. Because it's so deeply ingrained in who we are. So it's really just a practice questioning. Is this thought true? Is this serving me? What would I like this thought to be? How can I? What's something else that I can say? So interrupting it, like, you know, with our yoga background?
Stephanie Mara 28:10
Mmhmm.
Kylie Larson 28:10
It's a yoga practice. I don't know why I remember the Sanskrit word. But it's so it rolls right off the tongue. Pratipaksha bhavana. Every time a negative thought comes in, it's okay, we're gonna have negative thoughts, but replace it with a loving thought. And that's how we do it.
Stephanie Mara 28:27
Yeah, I can't remember where I saw this. It might have been on Instagram or something. But I remember someone commenting about how they don't remember a single woman around them growing up saying positive things about their body. And so it's like the cultural change that we're all looking for starts within ourselves. And it starts with first having a different dialogue with yourself about your body so that you enter into other conversations differently about your body. And you're being a role model, even for the individuals around you saying like, yah you can say really amazing, wonderful, fantastic things about this body that you live in. And it's actually you are going to shift the dialogue, the conversation, you're going to become the role model of the change you want to see in the world.
Kylie Larson 29:16
Absolutely. You know, there was that article that came out it was I want to say like the summer of 2019. I can't remember the name of it. But the author's spoke about, like a business luncheon. There are not men sitting around a business lunch talking about how fat they feel. But with females, it's a different conversation. And you know, sometimes I forget because of the people that I now choose to surround myself with. And those conversations are still happening. It's obvious anytime I start a new round of my program because I hear those words again. But you're right. It's up to us and the people that have children like talk about a big responsibility. We've got to shift that narrative in our homes for sure.
Stephanie Mara 30:01
Yeah. I feel like we could talk about this forever.
Kylie Larson 30:05
Yeah!
Stephanie Mara 30:06
Something that I have been loving wrapping up around this is you know all about creating baby steps towards cultivating this new relationship with our food and our body. And I'm curious, what do you feel like is a you know, there's so many in so many different paths you can go down, but if there was like one baby step you could offer to those who are listening today to move towards what we're talking about, what do you feel like that baby step would be?
Kylie Larson 30:31
Oh, I think it's what I said a moment ago, like understanding right now, right here, You're awesome. Start there, start knowing that you're enough. And we can build. It's a building process. It's not we're taking away because we're too much, or we're too big. We're gonna build from this point where we are. Because I think those two things, I'm enough as I am, cuz I think that's what it all boils down to always, for everything. So understanding, I'm enough where I'm at right now. And then I'm going to focus on growth. Even if growth means I lose 10 pounds, some people do have 10 pounds to lose for health reasons. Some people have 100 pounds to lose, but you're still growing, it's abundance. You're just growing into more, you're not shrinking into something less. So it's not a tangible step. It's a mental.
Stephanie Mara 31:19
Yeah. Mental. Sometimes it starts there, you know, its just as important. And, you know, it reminds me of what you just said like a couple minutes ago, of we don't actually know what our bodies look like. And I think to add on to that is start to look at different images of different bodies.
Kylie Larson 31:37
Oh my gosh yes.
Stephanie Mara 31:38
Because we are so bombarded with often a single image of a certain body shape, and start to actually purposely put different body shapes in your sphere, follow different kinds of people, if you're big on social media, actually go and look at different body shapes from different eras. So that you start to see that there, you start to deconstruct this ideal body shape, and that there are so many different body shapes and body images and that they're all welcomed and wonderful just as they are.
Kylie Larson 32:11
Yes, especially as females, like, truly the female body, all shapes and sizes are so gorgeous. Please, Did you, I'm assuming you read The Body Is Not An Apology. Did you read that book?
Stephanie Mara 32:22
Yeah, it's a book I often recommend.
Kylie Larson 32:25
I just I hear this on repeat all the time. And it's my favorite quote from the book, which there were so many, but there is no hierarchy of bodies. And then when she spoke about how, where where even do these body ideals come from? I don't know. I know it's not me and you though, Stephanie.
Stephanie Mara 32:45
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's just like, yeah, it's getting really curious in those moments where there's a harsh internal dialogue that goes, you need to change. You know, like you said, it starts with getting really curious with that mental aspect of why? Who is telling me I need to change? Where is this belief coming from? So that you actually the first step might be entering into a different relationship with the body you have now. So that if you want to explore challenging your body in new and different ways, it's from that ground work of I am good enough, just as I am. And my body is going to shift and change over and over and over again, but that I'm not going to connect my worth or my enoughness with that anymore.
Kylie Larson 33:31
Absolutely. That's a really valid point is that our body is going to continuously change as we get older. It's supposed to. Yeah. So we have to find a way to like dance this dance.
Stephanie Mara 33:44
Yeah. So I'm wondering, how can individuals keep in touch with you? You know, what are kind of I know you constantly have new programs that are starting? I think you might have just closed the doors on one or there might still be one open. I'd love to hear more about your offerings.
Kylie Larson 34:00
Instagram is my favorite place. You know, websites are awesome, but there, aren't they hard to update? So you can find me on Instagram @thekylielarson. And then yes, the program that I run is it's called Lift To Get Lean, don't let the name fool you. And within that program, we've also started a new program for the perimenopausal woman called Revive. And I'm really passionate about that. Because I mean, that's where I'm at now. And what I'm learning more with that subset of women is we've got so much work to do you know what I mean? It's all this rewiring, it's if you're working with someone in their 30s, or their 20s, that's one thing. But if you've had 40 years of this programming, and you're trying to reprogram, talk about work that needs to be done. So it's really fun educating these women and just busting all the myths that we've grown up with, and then teaching them how to finally take control of, its not really control thing, just understanding how our bodies work. We weren't taught, you know, it's no one's fault. We just weren't taught. So the perimenopausal group called Revive is our newest, you still learn how to do all the things. You learn about nutrition and strength training, just the conversation is about how my body's changing now, it's our second puberty. Like, what if you got your period and no one ever told you about it? That's what's happening to us right now.
Stephanie Mara 35:29
I love that, that reframe over just, it makes me think of, you know, I don't know if you've heard of Alisa Vitti. She kind of created the world of cycle syncing. And you know, she's very passionate about being just like, why aren't we taught as women that our cycle is like the most magical, powerful thing that could possibly happen to us and I love that you're reshaping, Okay, when you're moving into perimenopause, and even women who are moving into more of their menopause and moving into that, it's like, this is just a, you know, a, like a, you know, hormonal shift that is happening. And we actually get to see it as a cool evolution of our female body, not like the worst thing that ever happened to us.
Kylie Larson 36:10
No. And I think that's how it's been positioned. I don't know how, because not to draw this out. But you still have half your life to live after perimenopause.
Stephanie Mara 36:22
Yeah.
Kylie Larson 36:22
So like, why are we closing the book? When we turn 45? Or 50? When we have 30, 40 more years in us? It's just interesting.
Stephanie Mara 36:31
Yeah, when I saw you starting to offer that more, I was really excited because I think it's another kind of gap in female evolution that needs to be attended to more to support women in you know what I often find even if with those that I work with that when they get into that phase, there's so much self judgment that happens on their body of why isn't my body the way it used to be? And they're doing so many things to try to get get their body back? I'm using quotations right now. So it's like, oh, you know, it's no, your body's actually going into a new phase and how can we actually ride kind of and flow with the journey of this new chapter that it's entering into, and that it's going to look and feel different and that doesn't necessarily have to be perceived as bad. You know, that it's just like, oh, how can I actually, if it was like a new relationship that I'm stepping into with my body actually I don't know this body anymore. But that can even be exciting. Who is this body? How do I get to reknow who this body is now?
Kylie Larson 37:32
It's, totally. It's a new beginning. It's not the end. And I love that perspective.
Stephanie Mara 37:39
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here today and doing what you do. And I will just say, if you do not follow Kylie on social media, like, go follow her on Instagram right now, I literally love everything she puts out. And something that I will just add is that you put in so much humor. You know, I think that there's a lot of heaviness in this kind of like fitness and diet culture world, that it's just like, sometimes we have to kind of lighten it up a little bit. Like this is this is a body. And this is a body that you live in. And how can we actually find a little bit of lightness, a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of humor, as your body shifts and changes and your relationship shifts and changes with it as well. So you just put out so much content that makes me laugh. And you know, reminds me to be like, oh, yeah, we don't have to take this so seriously.
Kylie Larson 38:34
No, and laughter is a great way to get into your sympathetic nervous system. Or parasympathetic.
Stephanie Mara 38:42
Yeah. I love how you just brought it right back around. Yeah, you know, that we need to, you know, approach our relationship and this ever evolving, shifting changing thing with a lot more humor and laughter and lightness that it will ultimately support in moving towards, kind of that, what we want for our bodies is that there's this focus of, oh, if I can just change my body, then I'll get the lightness, the acceptance that I'm looking for. And it actually gets to be the other way around. You get to feel, you know, loving and accepting and humorous and light and vibrant in this body, right as it is right now. And then it gets to change and evolve from there.
Kylie Larson 39:22
Absolutely. Thank you so much, Stephanie.
Stephanie Mara 39:24
Yeah, well, thank you so much, again, for being here. You know, I could talk to you forever. You know, hopefully we'll have you back on in the future. And to everybody who is listening, thanks for listening. If you have any questions for me or Kylie. I will also drop both of our email addresses in the show notes. And I hope you all have a beautiful rest of your day. Bye!
Keep in touch with Kylie here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekylielarson/
Website: www.lifttogetleanwithkylie.com
Contact: https://www.lifttogetleanwithkylie.com/contact
Resources mentioned in this episode:
The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor