Our Relationship With Food is a Mirror

You might have heard the saying the one consistent relationship we have in our life is the one we have with ourselves. There is another relationship that is there throughout our entire lives and that is the one we have with our food. We can have an intimate relationship with our food where our food patterns, cravings, urges, and choices can inform us and support us. Food can be a powerful mirror reflecting back to us how we might be feeling based on what we choose to eat or beliefs we are holding onto about who we think we “should” be. 

Have you ever consumed a meal really fast after an argument with a loved one? 

Or, noticed you had no hunger at all while in the process of grieving? 

Have you sat down to a meal thinking you don’t deserve that nourishment? 

Or, you shouldn’t be eating this? 

Or, you don’t want to stop eating this?

Our food interactions can reveal to us how we might be feeling if we have not been attending to our emotions. Additionally, how we are interacting with our food can often show us how we are relating to other areas of our life. 

If we tell ourselves we don’t deserve what we are eating, where else are we potentially denying ourselves pleasure? If we have an inner voice arise saying we shouldn’t be eating a particular food, where else in our life are we telling ourselves we can’t do or be something? If we overeat on foods that don’t resonate with our system, where else are we not saying no and setting a boundary where it is needed?

Every eating experience can be an opportunity to slow down and learn more about yourself. When we are aware of what foods have been connected to feeling certain emotions, that food craving can be our red flag that it is not the food we are actually needing but something else. 

For example, there are foods I ate as a kid over and over again that do not digest very smoothly in my body now like scrambled eggs when I was sick or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day for lunch. I know when I’m thinking of eating these kinds of foods in the present that often what I’m truly desiring is a sense of home. I know when I’m feeling drained and overly stressed, I often want to reach for something that is higher in carbohydrates and potentially sweet to self soothe. I know that a desire to want to overeat can often be a sign that I need to speak up for myself somewhere in my life or take more time to rest. This awareness guides me in exploring in any moment are these the foods my body actually needs and if not, then the power is within me to create a balanced meal of what is going to support my body in feeling grounded where I can then satiate any emotional hunger in a non-food way.

Before eating, we can close our eyes and take three deep belly breaths to tune in to our body. You can ask yourself what emotions might be present before choosing any food to eat so that you’re aware of the internal environment you’re working with in your body. If there is a specific food you’re thinking of eating, you can get curious if that food is being chosen to numb out from the emotions present or support you in feeling the calm, peace, and relaxation you’re potentially looking to feel both in the moment and long term as well. Instead of choosing food reactively, by slowing down the whole eating experience we can choose foods that support us in feeling how we want to feel.

As you’re eating, you can tune in and notice what thoughts are arising as you eat to discover what beliefs you may hold about yourself that no longer feel satiating to feed your body with. By giving yourself a moment to check-in before and during eating, you will be giving yourself space to acknowledge the emotions and beliefs present. Awareness of your physical and emotional hungers can bring more empowerment into your body that you can satiate each hunger in a way that supports you in feeling more connected to you. 

Our food can be our ally and friend supporting us in coming into the present and deepening into relationship with ourselves. Cultivating acceptance around our innate need for food, we can be cultivating acceptance for ourselves just the way we are.