How To Trust Your Body Through Every Life Phase

Welcome to the Satiated Podcast, where we explore physical and emotional hunger, satiation and healing your relationship with your food and body. I'm your host, Stephanie Mara Fox, your Somatic Nutritional Counselor.

As women, we go through many bodily transitions throughout life. Puberty, for some women pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause. Each shift can teach us so much about ourselves, and it can also be an uncomfortable experience every time a new bodily transition occurs. These transitions are physical, emotional, and psychological. They ask us to meet ourselves again and again, in new forms, often before we feel ready. In each change, familiar patterns can return, especially when you're feeling scared and overwhelmed. You may notice your food coping mechanisms and body image concerns peak as a way to support yourself in feeling in control and safe. These times of life call for immense compassion. Transitions require self-attunement to speak up and ask for what you need, and to build more community to receive more coregulation. You can rediscover what it means to feel at home in your body again and again. I chat about these bodily transitions today with Natalie Rose.

Natalie is a therapist and coach who helps women heal their relationship with food, their body, and self-worth. She is the founder of the Communeaty membership and has built a thriving community on Instagram of over 100,000 women to support them in achieving a balanced relationship with food and nurturing a positive relationship with themselves. We chat about how Natalie has navigated the bodily changes she has been going through in her pregnancy, how she's kept her own food recovery intact along the way, the journey of building trust in your body, navigating bodily discomfort, embracing an internal rebel, and ebbing and flowing with body image challenges. If the Satiated podcast has supported you in having more resources in navigating your food and body coping mechanisms, consider joining Satiated+ and offering a few dollars every month to the show. This year, I have started to email Satiated+ members every first week of the month, offering them the opportunity to ask me anything as a thank you for supporting the podcast. If you'd like to join and be able to ask me anything each month, click on the link in the show notes. Now, welcome Natalie!

I am super excited to have you back on the podcast, and before we even dive into our conversation today, I would love for you just to reintroduce yourself. For those who maybe don't know you or don't know your work, you put out such amazing content on social media, I don't know how anyone could not know you, and just the amazing, compassionate message that you put out around healing relationship with food and body. But just for anyone who maybe doesn't know you a little bit just about you and how you got into this work.

Natalie Rose 03:24

My name is Natalie Rose, and I'm a registered psychotherapist, and I specialize in helping women work through issues with their with food, with their body and with themselves. And I have experience working with with treating eating disorders, disordered eating, or even just women who have been dieting for most of their life. And we all know how complicated that can get with diet culture. And yeah, I'm based out of Toronto, Canada, and I have an online community of women that I support through coaching.

Stephanie Mara 03:26

Yeah, well, I love everything that you put out, and I wanted to kind of bring you back on because you were recently announced that you were pregnant, and just you've been putting out such amazing content in how to keep like recovery as a top priority when the body is physically changing, and I feel like that, that there's many different points in a woman's life. It could be through puberty, and then it could be through pregnancy, and then it could be through perimenopause. Funny, that those all start with P. But you know that, like, how do we keep recovery as a top priority when ourbody is shifting and changing. And I'm curious, just to start off with of like, what you've noticed keep kind of your relationship with food as strong as it has been, as your body has been shifting and changing throughout the pregnancy process.

Natalie Rose 04:56

Yeah, definitely. So this is my first pregnancy. So it's all very new to me, and I have been thinking a lot about this because, of course, I mean, this is like, what we live and what we breathe through, you know, our work in this field, and it's been really interesting. I mean, I will say for the first trimester, it's just all about survival. Like, I don't think I had time to think about what foods were good and bad. I just like, I was feeling so nauseous that I just I needed to eat to ward off the nausea. And it didn't matter what it was, it had to be something that I could keep down, which was usually, you know, a combination of, like, cheese and mayo and bread. Somehow that was, like, my go to thing, or dumplings. Dumplings are a lifesaver. I will say, like some things that I noticed, I really just tried to be very observational, noticing what was coming up for me. I think in the early stages, it was kind of like, wow, I don't know how my body's gonna change. Some women gain a lot of weight. Some don't gain very much weight. You can't form an expectation, because you just, you just don't know. And I think often when you have a difficult history of a relationship with your body, there tends to be a lot of lack of trust. So I think historically, I probably would have thought to myself, oh, of course, my body is going to put on so much weight, it's going to be uncontrollable. I'm going to my nose is going to change. My hormones are going to change. You know, there's also a lot of information on social media, you get to see into like, billions of people's different experiences, and some people post about how their whole face changes when they're pregnant. So of course, you know, with that history of a lack of trust with my body, there's kind of like a whisper of those thoughts of assuming the worst, like my body's gonna betray me and make me feel the ugliest I could possibly feel. To be fair, those thoughts weren't very loud, I think because I was in a really good place when I got pregnant, but I was just kind of thinking of those. It was like a whisper of those thoughts, or those thoughts would have been really strong had I got pregnant maybe like 10 years ago, and I think it's been a really great experience, because I don't feel betrayed by my body at all. I feel like everything is happening as it should, and I'm just kind of rolling with the punches, going with the flow of things. And I've kind of looked at my body a different way. I kind of like I went on vacation with my husband, and he took pictures of me on the beach in a bathing suit, and I was looking at these pictures, and for the very first time, I kind of saw, like a glimpse of my mom, that I was resembling her, and that was really special to me. So I think overall, it's been a really great experience for me, where I think prioritizing my recovery just looks like really making a commitment to myself that no matter how my body did change, if those fearful expectations did come true, I would treat my body with that compassion, knowing that it was just doing the best that it could do to support this pregnancy, and just responding to those emotions in a way that really took care of of my needs. Because at the end of the day, you know, when we're fearing all of these negative changes, we're really usually just fearing lack of love or lack of acceptance or judgment and struggling with shame. So having that promise to myself was also really grounding.

Stephanie Mara 08:45

Yeah, Yeah, thanks for sharing all that I hear so many layers and two pieces that I feel like are really important that you just named was one like that trust in your body, and I'm curious, even if maybe we could talk more about, like, what helped you build that trust, or the people that you work with and in your group, like the conversations on, how do we build trust in our body? And then the other thing that you pointed out was also what you're talking about, is surrender into the unknown, and that is so hard to do. And I really hear like, that's what you practiced of I don't know what is going to happen, how my body is going to change, but I really hear you put that the top priority is that I listen to my body and I take care of it, regardless of the fears that show up, the doubts that show up, the worries that show up, and kind of like those are going to show up when the body is changing. And I feel like I've been in that conversation a lot recently, with a lot of those I work with as well, of like, invite fear to the table anyway, because that's sometimes what we need to do is like, yeah, this is going to be scary to continue to take care of our body, and you get to do it anyway while you're feeling the fear, while you're feeling the anxiety so just like beautiful little gems that you kind of pointed out there of what you've been navigating so far.

Natalie Rose 10:06

Yeah, it's definitely a surrendering of all control. There's so many unknowns. Weight is just one tiny fraction of what you don't know. You can't see into your body, and there's like, all these things happening that it knows how to make it happen, like my body, I mean and I don't even know, like, it's, I thinkexperiencing that wisdom or that play out has has also been really mind blowing.

Stephanie Mara 10:38

Yeah, it is kind of mind blowing like what you're naming is that the body has this inherent wisdom to know what to do. And I find so often like tapping back into that can be so healing and reparative in our relationship with our body. And I've seen a lot of women, actually, who are going through the pregnancy process rediscover what it means to actually have like we were talking about before, like trust in their body, that it knows what to do, like it knows how to create a human life inside of you, and you're not telling it like, okay, today we're gonna create the heart, and today let's maybe create a leg, like It's just doing that, which is amazing and incredible. And so I know the question that I asked earlier was like, yeah, what do you feel like has helped you bring in that trust, or kind of the trust that you've been navigating with those that you work with, that you know, sometimes when we're starting to wat more, eat differently, you know that lack of trust in the body can it handle this food? Can it digest this food? Like, what is it going to do with this food? Can feel really scary. I'm curious,just that journey of trust that you and those you've worked with have been through.

Natalie Rose 11:50

Definitely, I think, absolutely, the work that I did before this pregnancy, on building that trust has really helped it go so much smoother where I don't think, without having done that work, I would have been able to trust the food choices that I was making, or just being able to honor what my body was needing all those times when, you know, I could have judged those choices in the past, you know, I might have. And so what I mean by that is I spent a lot of time just really leaning into things like my cravings, for example, and then experiencing for myself how that helped me instead of harmed me. So for example, I remember in the very early stages, I was really, really craving sugar, and I went out and I got gummies, like exactly what was coming to my mind, and I ate the gummies. And then it just so happened that I had blood work around that time, and when the blood work came back, it showed that my blood sugar had been low, and it was just like, of course, like, of course, I was getting that craving. My body needed more sugar. And just as such a minute example of how that trust is built. And with more and more of those examples building up over time, you just start to really, really believe in your way of eating, like your body, your cravings, it doesn't matter what other people are eating or not eating, whether they're pregnant or not. You know, those experiences accumulate over time and then really help build that sense of unity with your body. And so I had done a lot of that work, like throughout the years, you know, prior to my pregnancy, and that has really helped, I think, with clients like, it's so nice to see that kind of light bulb moment happen with them as well. So I can think of a client is coming to mind where I think she was working on adding snacks or building up her snacks with her dietician, and she was noticing almost immediately that it gave her more energy for a dance class that she was doing. And just like seeing that light bulb go off in her mind and her face light up when she realized that food really is fuel, and that, you know when you're tired or when you get a headache, like there's all these signs that our body gives us, that when we really honor them and listen to them, it builds that two way connection.

Stephanie Mara 12:02

I love that, and I also appreciate you naming the piece around sugar, because, I mean, my gosh, that would send us down a whole other conversation that we don't need to get into today, but like just the demonization of sugar. But even when you are, like in your scenario, like craving sugar, rather than seeing it as you know, what we're maybe told from, like diet culture or wellness culture, whatever culture that, oh, you just have to, you know, beat this sugar craving or that means you're not eating enough protein or, like, all the things that people are talking about these days, rather than just, huh, I wonder why I might be craving sugar. And maybe there's something about sugar that actually my body needs right now. So I love that example that you know, even just really fascinating, that you had blood work soon after that, just to see, like, oh, my craving makes sense. This isn't the enemy. This is my body trying to talk to me. And it's, I know you said, like, that sounds like such a small example, but it is those small examples that is the thing that starts to create that trust within the body of like, can I actually eat the thing that I'm feeling drawn to and then kind of notice and observe? Like, how do I feel? Kind of like, what you were just describing of, you know, the other individual that like, oh, when I eat more snacks, I have more energy. I can get through my day easier.

Natalie Rose 15:50

Yeah, definitely. And it's you have to really let go and test out those actions in order to get there, you know. And I think that's what a lot of people struggle with the most is really, really believing the thoughts that are coming up or sticking with the rigidity. It's so hard to take the action, to break it, to try, like, to try and learn. I totally get that because I used to struggle with, you know, so many different ends of the spectrum of disordered eating, and one of those was binge eating. So I know what it feels like to say, have something like candy and then totally lose control, and then blame yourself and blame the candy. It takes a lot of time and practice to unlearn that, and the only way I could do that, specifically with candy, was by eating enough carbohydrates regularly, and, you know, the protein, like all this stuff, but that trial and error is so important, and really giving yourself time and patience to learn, it's not always the case that you feel fine after honoring a craving. You know, you mentioned like, you know, is my body gonna digest this food. I've had years of digestive issues to kind of work through too right to finally get to a place where I really do trust that my body will digest this food, or that if one time I'm left feeling bloating, oh, there was definitely a period of time earlier in pregnancy where my digestion was really affected by the hormones, and it reminded me of the bloating that I used to feel when I was struggling with disordered eating. And I remember talking about that on my podcast a little bit, just sharing like, oh, this is bringing back memories, and I had so much compassion for myself and for others who are still struggling with disordered eating, because that bloating is something that can really cause you to feel like your body is betraying you, but usually it's just a side effect of restriction, so it's like a call for healing.

Stephanie Mara 17:53

Yeah, I'm really glad that you named that I had, well, not pregnancy, a similar experience going through long covid that, you know, a lot of people know here, I lost my ability to swallow for a period of time, which was a fascinating journey to go on. But at the beginning of that, there were so many things that reminded me of what it felt like to worry and panic about food that I haven't experienced for a very, very very long time now, and so I'm glad that you're bringing that back up, because what I find is what I needed to do, and I'm curious what you had to do during that was I had to kept reminding myself what was different. You know that I'm like, hey, I'm staying up until midnight, trying to get in enough food to make sure my body is nourished. Like I am not restricting myself, like I am blending anything that I can in a blender to, like, get nourishment in and like, point out to myself, like, this is not the same. I know it feels familiar, and there's like, fear that I'm gonna start, like, losing weight and going to a point where I was in the past, and I just had to keep reminding myself and point out, like, somatically, what is different here? I'm curious what helped you through that experience of like, oh, this feels familiar of like, the eating disorder, the disordered eating in the past, but it's not the same.

Natalie Rose 19:11

I think for me, it was just reminding myself that I know that this isn't my fault, like, this isn't my body betraying me. It's just, you know, it's just having a hard time right now. And of course, this feels uncomfortable, and there's nothing that I need to do about it, you know, I didn't act on any kind of behaviors to fix it, like I would have likely in the past, you know, gotten really angry at food and planned some restrictive diet and all that kind of stuff. So that wasn't happening at all this time. And yeah, so it's just navigating discomfort, knowing that it's normal. We can't possibly feel 100% in our bodies all the time, especially if we're going through something like pregnancy or something similar.

Stephanie Mara 19:58

Yeah, absolutely. And your naming of, yeah, being with discomfort that's so much a part of the journey, especially when you're going through times of your life where it's, you know, all these different stages we've been talking about that it's like, yeah, there's a lot of discomfort here. And it's not the easiest thing to learn how to be with discomfort. I'm wondering what has supported you. I know we talk about a lot of different avenues here, but I find that it's one of the hardest and yet most important practices is, how do I keep growing my capacity to be with discomfort? And I find that at least for myself, like that's been the thing that has helped the most, like, not engage in coping mechanisms that I know would not support me long term, is just kind of identifying this is just a sensation of discomfort, like, I'm not in danger, nothing bad is going to happen. I just feel uncomfortable and like you were just naming like, it's not my fault that I feel uncomfortable. Like, you know, all that diet culture, gaslighting, of like, well, what did you do wrong to make this discomfort happen? It's like, no, this is just what my body is experiencing right now. So I'm wondering, like, what has helped you kind of ebb and flow with the discomfort that's been showing up from maybe month to month.

Natalie Rose 21:16

This is a really good question. And something that's coming to mind is, I think, in you know, my journey of leaning into that trust, like trusting, that I needed to stay with discomfort, to grow and heal, happened just, I think because I gave up on doing the opposite of trying to fix it. I think I started leaning into discomfort, or practicing being with the discomfort instead of doing something to fix it, initially with the food, right? So it was like, okay, I'm slowly, like, coming out of this really restrictive lifestyle starting to branch out. It doesn't always feel good. Sometimes it leads to overeating, sometimes it leads to bloating, but I know something about this is just right for me, like I'm eating in a way that aligns more with my values versus diet cultures values. And so there was kind of like that intuition that this is right for me. And then I think the other side of it was just getting tired, like I couldn't see myself going back to rigid food roles and rigidity and depriving myself in order to get back to where I was or to lose weight again. So I didn't, and then I did struggle with a lot of discomfort, especially the changes in my body, you know, which might not be perceived to be significant by anyone else, but to me, they were like identity shattering, like they just it felt like the whole world was upside down. And so I went through a lot of discomfort. And, yeah, I think part of it was just an unwillingness to go backwards to old habits, and another part of it was kind of like this inner trust that I just had to get through it, like that I would get through it, and then with the experience of getting through it was, is really what taught me, oh, I can sit with discomfort. Everything will be okay. I don't need to do anything about this. This is just discomfort, and it leads to growth and better things, because that's what happened for me. I think if I hadn't gone through all those struggles, I wouldn't feel so comfortable with my relationship with food or comfortable with my body today, and, more importantly, just building that trust with myself that I can handle hard things like really intense emotions and emotional flashbacks and all that kind of stuff. So yeah, partly was just the experience of going through it that taught me, and I think that's what I reminded myself of. Whenever things are really uncomfortable, it's like, this is just a part of life. This is an uncomfortable time, and it won't always be this way. And likely I'm going to get something out of it that's going to be different, you know, such as growth or healing.

Stephanie Mara 24:24

Yeah, I love that, you know, I went through something similar. I don't know if you experienced this, but I also needed to, you know, gain some weight, to really feel kind of much more grounded and solid in my body, and feel like I could be here and be present, and while it may have not really externally, kind of looked like a huge change, like you were naming, I totally get that it felt like a huge difference of like feeling differently, and even feeling like I'm moving differently in my body, or anything like that. And I found that on days where at the beginning, maybe of when this started to happen, which was very long time ago at this point, but that when I would be in great discomfort and be like, you know what, fine, we're gonna, you know, all the things that, like, I'm gonna go back on a cleanse. I'm gonna like, I need to go back on a diet again, like, all those things I had, what felt like, I don't know if it was coming from, you could say my body or a part of me, but there would be, like a kind of inner protector started to be created, where it was like, it would revolt. It'd be like, no, no. We are not doing that. Like that is not happening, that's not even an option anymore, that even if I tried to spend an afternoon considering that my whole body would just be like, just this internal, no, that's not happening anymore. We're not doing that. So I think that there's also just coming back to that trust that I didn't create that, like, I don't even know what like switch flipped, but it was just something that started to happen where as I started to eat more consistently, make sure that the priority was just that my body was being cared for no matter what kind of like you're naming like, no matter what I'm going to feed my body consistently, no matter how I'm feeling in my body. I'm gonna make sure it gets what it needs, that it just that kind of revolting feeling towards doing any diet or wellness culture stuff was was just not even an option anymore. I don't know if you experience something similar.

Natalie Rose 26:35

Definitely, that's what it felt like, like there was just no way. And one of my clients actually has named this her internal rebel, where it feels like, you know, even if she wanted to, there's like a rebel inside her now that wouldn't like that would rebel against any kind of restriction. So I think it's in what I've told them is that that's like a healthy rebel. That's like your healthy self coming back and and being alive and well and saying, no, like, that wasn't good for my body. I don't want that again. I can't.

Stephanie Mara 27:11

Yeah, it's kind of like this, just because, you know, at least at this time that we're recording, like Mother's Day just happened. It's kind of like your own internal, fierce mother that's just like, I got you and like, no, that's not the way that we care for ourselves.

Natalie Rose 27:26

Exactly. That's such a good way to describe it, and that's healing like, that's the part of us that we're trying to connect with, again, is the part that takes care of us, like the adult part of us that wants the best for us. And so I think that's a huge sign of healing.

Stephanie Mara 27:44

Yeah, I agree with that. You know, it is kind of leaning into sometimes I'll talk with some people of I feel like it's so much easier to put ourselves into the shoes, so to speak, of like, okay, well, if someone else came to me with like, I'm having trouble with trusting myself, or I'm having trouble entering into the unknown, like some of the things that we're talking about, like, how would I respond to that person? And sometimes that sense of compassion and that sense of kindness comes in so quickly and so easily when we apply it to someone else, and that, you know, I find it's like, okay if that's how I would respond to someone else, that it's like, well, it's okay if you don't trust yourself yet. Like, this is a journey. What's it like for you to not trust yourself right now? Or, yeah, it is really hard to be in the unknown. What's that like for you right now? Like, can we move through that together? Could I practice that on myself and bring the same way that I would meet anyone else in my life towards myself, and I find that's the hardest switch. Sometimes it's like it comes so easily for other people. But I'm curious about like, how you've kind of supported people in navigating maybe the inner dialogue that sometimes happens that is kind of harsh or critical or mean or loud and it's so incessant and sometimes hard to kind of work with.

Natalie Rose 29:04

Yeah, it can be so hard to work with. It's kind of like for a lot of people, that inner critic. I mean, it really is a coping mechanism. It's something that develops in a time when you either feel a lot of shame or you don't know how to manage your emotions, and so it kind of develops as this way of giving you certainty. You know, okay, well, if I can criticize myself, then at least I'm doing it before someone else gets a chance to or if I am hard on myself, it'll make me better. So it can kind of feel like something that is grounding, even though it's it's not. It's something that it, you know, kind of does the opposite. It's very dysregulating. So I usually teach my clients like the only thing that has really worked for me when compassion felt a little bit too novel or foreign because I too I mean, yeah, I guess I would have described myself as a critical person, but I definitely wouldn't have described myself as a compassionate person for many years. So for me, it started with something like just acknowledging what I was going through. Like, wow, I'm standing in front of the mirror hating and criticizing my body and feeling awful. That is really unfortunate. Like, that's really sad. What kind of life am I living right now that this is happening? I would just want to feel good in my body, or not even have to really think about it that much at all. So that was compassion for me in a less like coddly or cringy way, in a way that felt realistic to me at that time, was really just almost like zooming out and looking at myself, almost as if I was observing myself. I was an outside observer. You know, you could call that mindfulness, but at that time, it just meant I was acknowledging what I was going through without judgment, and just kind of like having some empathy for myself, acknowledging that it was hard because, you know, when I was really struggling and I needed that compassion, I was often met with, well, don't worry, like this won't last forever. Or you can just do this, like, just eat better and exercise and you'll feel better, like it was always met with a fix, fix it, solution, or a, you know, don't worry, because feelings are temporary so or logic, and what I really needed to hear was that really sucks that you're feeling that way. I'm here for you. So I started lending that to myself, and that is the only thing that got me out of like bad body image spirals, and then became like a regular kind of coping mechanism or dialogue in my own mind of just kind of just yeah, just being neutral and just being with myself during the discomfort, instead of trying to fix it or talk my way out of it.

Stephanie Mara 29:36

I completely, 1,000% agree with that suggestion. And you know, I feel like that is a conversation that comes up a lot with those I work with as well is that validation or self acknowledgement isn't trying to make something better, it's just being with what is of like yeah, right now I'm staring in a mirror and I'm being really critical of myself. What's that like? Like, that is what's happening right now and this really sucks that I'm treating myself this way. And you know, it is kind of, I always like to make the analogy of, it's kind of like sitting down with a friend to a cup of tea, and like, they don't really try to fix anything. They just hear you out. You're like, gabbing with them, and it's not like anything changed coming out of that tea date, but you feel a lot more connected. You feel a lot more like you can tolerate and manage and move through things in a lot easier way, even though nothing has actually changed. And so that's what I often feel like self validation is like, because it's like sitting down to a cup of tea with myself being like, I hear you like, this is hard. Yeah, we're having some tough body image moments right now. Yeah, it is hard to live in a body and that that feels so much more relaxing to connect with myself that way, rather than kind of a lot of the messages that I feel like people get really confused about is that they need to like, update or change just in the dialogue of body image let's say like I need to like my body. I need to make this better. I need to view my body differently. And I agree with you that sometimes that starts with just being with what is of right now, I have a hard time connecting with this body as it is.

Natalie Rose 34:00

Yeah, exactly because oftentimes there isn't a solution, or the only solution would be something that is no longer aligning with your values or is going to take you backwards, you know, in terms of not meeting your needs. So sometimes it really is just about that radical acceptance of this is how I feel right now, and kind of accepting that, you know, these moments will come like over time, they'll be fewer and further between, but you can't have all of the good stuff that comes with healing and growth if you don't have a few of these moments, like it's so it's normal to not always feel great about your body. And the thing is, is, you know, when we weren't honoring our nutritional needs, we were struggling with food and our body image, there were a lot of these moments too. So it's not that, you know, you could even go backwards and feel better. It's just, it's just a different kind of acceptance, where in the past, you were coping with this in a way that felt like you were fixing or solving your problem, and now you're surrendering to it so it it feels a lot harder. You're actually feeling your feelings now.

Stephanie Mara 35:14

Yeah, I had someone else on the podcast, like almost a year ago at this point, and it's always stuck with me of what you're referring to. It's not saying if, but when, not like if the body image concerns come up. It's just when the body image concerns come up because they do. They did throughout maybe your entire struggles with food, that didn't actually decrease or diminish the body image worries. And so it's like, okay, these are going to continue to come up. Because, you know, from a I know here I talk about from a somatic perspective, like, it's maybe trying to communicate something to you, but it's also like, look at the culture we live in. Like, of course everyone's going to have a hard time living in a body just because we're constantly talking about bodies and criticizing bodies, and that's hard to constantly feel like you're putting up that, like, I don't know, protective energy from it, like 24/7 all the time.

Natalie Rose 36:07

Definitely. And there's that and then there are so many other body image symptoms that really do get a whole lot better and sometimes go away entirely and completely, like your perception of the changes that you're so afraid of now might be totally different. I know there's certain things that you know would trigger me in the past that now I feel completely comfortable with. So there's a lot of that healing work too. Like it's a bit of both. It's almost like you have to accept that body image is going to be hard before it gets a lot better.

Stephanie Mara 36:46

Yeah, thanks for naming that. You know, what I find is like, I know for a lot of people, maybe as their body shifts and changes, and they feel their body more that it's not actually about sometimes getting more comfortable with the body change, but actually the sensations that you're feeling like, maybe you're feeling your arm more, or you're feeling your thighs rub together more, or, you know, it's like, all these things that you know are maybe perceived as, like, oh no, that's bad. But when we kind of bring it back to it's just uncomfortable, because it's just an unknown sensation. So how do I grow the capacity to be with the sensation, rather than make the body the problem that this is really bad, and I have to go back to the way things were.

Natalie Rose 37:29

Yeah, exactly. It's so true. And I mean, there's so many different ways that bodies can be experienced, and there's so many different reasons why we may struggle with our changing body, and a lot of those have to do with sensory experiences. It's not always easy, but definitely learning how to move through that discomfort with compassion can really be game changing.

Stephanie Mara 37:55

Yeah, so I'm curious, as you're coming up on, maybe the final months of your pregnancy here, I'm curious what's helping you go through the unknown of what's to come and entering into kind of, you know, it's a precious time of this is the last time they will be inside your body and like out in the world as a separate being. I'm curious what's helping you in this maybe upcoming transitional space.

Natalie Rose 38:21

Yeah, I've had a few thoughts lately. One is that, I mean, I was expressing in my Instagram stories today that I just kind of woke up with a feeling of feeling a little bit discouraged, just because there's so much going on, so much that I want to be present for and involved in. But I can't be 100% in any area right now, but especially not in all areas. So, you know, just feeling a little bit of grief, I guess, over my like past capacity to manage a bunch of different things at once, and just kind of accepting that and acknowledging that, you know, I'm really just doing the best that I can. I've also had thoughts like, wow, these are, like, the last few weeks of, you know, having a bump, and this is such a new experience, and it kind of happened so fast. Like, have I really enjoyed it enough? I need to be present and like, you know, enjoy these last few days having this experience, because it, you know, it could be once in a lifetime. It's definitely, if it happens again, it won't be the same. So that made me appreciate, I guess, where my body is right now, and just wanting to lean into that appreciation more. But I think, yeah, it's, it's definitely required a lot of compassion and surrendering to the ways that I can't show up as I want to. I think that has been the most difficult part.

Stephanie Mara 39:54

Yeah, thanks for naming that. Sometimes a lot of this work is being with the grief. Like, especially when it's like, stepping into the unknown, it's also the grief of maybe expectations, of how we thought things would be, the grief of what we're saying goodbye to, the grief of being with what is and like, grief is a part of the journey, so I'm so glad that you're naming that and that, like, yeah, it's like, it's okay. You know, I feel like there's so much pressure also from whatever of just like, what a pregnancy should look like, or how it's supposed to be, or, you know, women should, you know, have such a joyous experience, or, you know, really savor every second and it's like, yeah, and some days you're really tired and you're just gonna be in pajamas watching TV all day, and like, that's how you're gonna enjoy exactly where you're at. So I hear a lot of just the compassion we're talking about in that and that, yeah, something about what you said also in like, this experience will never be the way it is again like, just kind of brought a different perspective for me, of like, wherever we're at in life of sometimes there's always like, oh, I have to get past this point because the next part is going to be better. Like, I even think of there's some parts of I don't know, sometimes recovery where it's just like, I'm never going to be at this point in recovery ever again. So can I actually enjoy where I'm at right now, even in the hard, even in the discomfort, even in the unknown, you know, maybe you're rediscovering food you never even knew you liked that you'll never maybe have that same kind of experience again. Or like your you know client earlier of like, rediscovering, oh, this is what it feels like to eat enough and have enough energy you might like when you're consistently feeding yourself, you might not have such a powerful experience like that again. So there was something about the way you frame that that, just like, brought in a new perspective for me, around how we can savor where we're at now.

Natalie Rose 41:52

Yeah, and I think that's actually, you know, such an important part of healing as well, because, you know, when I struggled with food and with my body image for so many years, I was always living in that mindset of, well, when I lose weight, I'll feel better, or when I can, you know, just get my eating under control, things will be better. I just wasted so much time in that mindset and something that has helped me cope with body image is sometimes, if I were to find myself criticizing my body in a photo or in the mirror, I would think I'm never going to be as I am today again. You know, every time I have criticized my body and then looked back on that moment, I've always wished I was back in that moment, even though I didn't appreciate that moment at the time. So that's kind of given me that perspective of always to appreciate where you are now, because you're never going to be the same again. And most likely, if you've experienced some kind of body dysmorphia, you know, as we talk about this in the context of our body, you're gonna wish you had appreciated your body at that time. So there's no point on beating yourself up about it now. So I think, yeah, that you know, extends to all these other experiences where it's just about being present and just noticing what is now and appreciating both, like the fact that it won't last forever, and how that can have two sides to it. You know, that can be a good thing and that could be a bad thing, and it's just always appreciating what is now.

Stephanie Mara 43:34

Yeah, so well said. Well, I'm curious, just on this kind of feel like our theme today was kind of being with a shifting and changing body, and whatever that looks like for anyone. I'm curious if there's any baby steps you feel like, I know we named so much today, but any baby step you feel like you would offer to someone who's trying to practice maybe being with changes in their body more currently.

Natalie Rose 43:58

Yeah, the most important step is to really be neutral. Even though that can feel like a huge step to a lot of people, it's just so helpful to start removing the judgment, because I think so much of our difficulty coping with body changes is because of the way that we're judging ourself for struggling, you know, even having negative thoughts, oh, from having these negative thoughts about my body, that must mean that I have to feel bad about my body, or have to do something about it, or they could just be negative thoughts that are coming up so almost just noticing I'm having negative thoughts about my body right now. It doesn't have to mean the world. It doesn't have to mean what those thoughts are saying. It doesn't have to mean anything about how I feel. They're just coming up right now. And maybe even the same thing for kind of like, similar to what we were talking about, when you're noticing you're wishing away the experience or your wishing for a different time, just, you know, this is where I'm at right now. I don't have to wish it away. That's kind of like a form of resistance, just radically accepting, you know, this is what's happening in this moment, and it won't last forever, but this is how I feel right now, and just kind of being with that and acknowledging that it's hard.

Stephanie Mara 45:22

I love that, and I find that is such an amazing first baby step is kind of and I feel like we've talked about this before, maybe in a past podcast, of like, becoming that witness to, you know, your thoughts, and just saying, yeah, okay, my thoughts are being really mean on me right now and can I just name that and notice that, and that, I love that you're bringing in of you don't have to do anything with it. You don't have to respond to it. You don't have to act on it. It's first just noticing and acknowledging that it's there. So that is such a fantastic baby step to offer. And I'm curious how listeners can keep in touch with you and the work that you're doing.

Natalie Rose 46:01

Definitely. Yeah, you can follow me on socials. My handle is wakeupandsmelltherosay on Instagram and Tiktok. I recently started a YouTube and a podcast. They're kind of one in the same. And the podcast is called Wake Up With Natalie Rose. And, yeah, those are mostly where I hang out.

Stephanie Mara 46:24

Awesome. Yeah, I will put all those links in the show notes. Definitely recommend following you. You put out such great content. And just thank you so much again for being here and having this conversation. It was wonderful connecting with you again.

Natalie Rose 46:36

Oh, thank you for having me.

Stephanie Mara 46:38

Yeah, absolutely well to everyone listening as always, reach out anytime with any questions, Support@stephaniemara.com, and I hope you all have a safety producing and satiating rest of the day. Bye!

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